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LEARNING DAY

Learning Day: How to Become Good at Knife Fighting

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12 replies on “Learning Day: How to Become Good at Knife Fighting”

I am now giving every knife in my kitchen an implausible back story to give me an edge in a knife battle. This ginsu 12 piece knife set was forged by the greatest culinary samurai of Osaka and given to me by my sensei. I was trained in their use by the great American Ninja 3 on Blu Ray.

You bought the 12 knife set? You should use that sweet, sweet Ginsu money to hire blackwater to follow you around, moneybags.

It’s really distracting how none of the images actually show the people wielding knives. Even the one on different grips conveniently hides the blade. Does WikiHow figure if they don’t show the knife they have a legal loophole in case a reader goes on a stabbing spree?

I’m a bit surprised that they left out the most important aspect of knife fighting! Do NOT yell your own mother’s name while committing a stabbing.

What if her name’s “Martha”, though? I saw that in a movie once; both the guys lived.

I was a close quarters combat instructor in the Army. This is all very, very bad advice.

Before anyone makes assumptions, i didn’t say US Army. It mighta been COBRA. Who knows. Im wasted.

I did actually use a pocket knife once to back down a guy who freaked out on me when I bumped into him in a crowded Walgreens (I apologized several times first).

I have always wanted to meet Brockway, but since it’s been over a month since he wrote this article I’m worried that now we may both be Great Knife Fighters and be forced by cosmic knife law to fight to the death..

While you were having genuine, consensual sex with another living human, I studied the blade…

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