Learning Day: A Dream Called Bird Murder Island

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9 replies on “Learning Day: A Dream Called Bird Murder Island”

You guys have made me so jaded that I honestly can’t tell if Seanbaby is joking about Disney strangling an emu.

I can’t tell you if it’s a true story or not, but as an Orlando native who has been accosted by a local emu, I can tell you that all of the details add up.

You can still totally screw with birds at Disney world. However, they do get rather upset when you capture several seagulls, tie them to your belt, and attempt liftoff from the top of splash mountain.

Lucky it was an emu. If it was a cassowarry, then bird murder island would have been a totally different story.

We went to Disneyland Tokyo for our honeymoon and my wife and I lined up for 2 hours to get a photo with Mickey Mouse and when we finally got to the end of the line in his labyrinthine grotto The Mouse (in his wizard form) groped my ass while we were smiling for the photos.

I grew up in LA in the late eighties; classic, Anaheim Disneyland had so, so many guns. Aside from the enormous number of pistols and cannons (and various captured, enslaved women auctions) on Pirates of the Caribbean, there was also the gun every “conductor” of the Jungle Tour had strapped to his belt that he used to “scare away the native headhunters, (because the conductors were exclusively male back then), the space-guns you could buy at Captain Eo, the various guns on display at Big Thunder Mountain. Then there the guns outside of Mark Twain’s Riverboat, where Fronteirland was scattered with sharpshooter tents to practice shooting guns.

It is very weird to me, that as a kid, my weird uncle’s place, Boy Scouts, and Disneyland where the places where I encountered and was encouraged to interact with guns.

You never see a vagina-presenting shuffle step anymore. Huh. Too old fashioned, I suppose.

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