Nerding Day: Archie’s Weird Mysteries

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6 replies on “Nerding Day: Archie’s Weird Mysteries”

i loved this show when i was a kid. my fav episode was the one where veronica makes everyone love her. seeing a starved, suffering archie obsessed w veronica was scarier than killer dream girlfriends and giant wasps. riverdale fucking wishes

The Christian Archie stuff was always weird to me because Archie Comics basically just gave their flagship title and characters to Al Hartley for decades to use in his Christian stuff, and just let him do whatever he wanted with no editorial oversight at all.

One thing I like about Archie is how the wholesomeness is darkly inverted by the fact that all of the artists are at least a little pervy and end up making smut with characters a freckle away from being the Archie characters from their day job.

“It is the beginning of the unfinished, the rediscovery of the familiar, the re-experiencing of the already-suffered, and the fresh-forgetting of the unremembered. Hell goes round and round. In shape it is circular, and by nature it is repetitive, interminable, and very nearly unbearable.”

“It’s okay to date two women a month, but three will cause unimaginable destruction.”

Tell me a bout it… Learned that the hard way.

I’m not proud to admit I read a ton of Archie comics as a kid in the ’80s and ’90s. If you told me that one day there would be an Archie cartoon where he reenacts Bram Stoker’s “The Lair of the White Worm”, I wouldn’t have believed you.

It’s even weirder to think of the alternative: a bunch of Christian TV writers watched a 1988 Ken Russell film featuring a scene of Roman soldiers raping and killing nuns in front of Jesus on the cross and decided “let’s adapt THIS!”

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