And get it done with your brain on Hot Dog.
This is what I feel like every Tuesday morning as soon as I open the site.
Which days make you feel like this? Hopefully all of them!
Wake up with a swift kick to your braindick in our classic cut shirt. But don’t wear it to Chili’s unless you are looking to be the coolest guy there.
And don’t worry, we’ve got the women’s cut ready for you to show off what years of cursed media does to someone’s thalamus.
It’s almost winter time! You hate sleeves, I hate sleeves, the entire system is built to oppress people like us, but we have your back! And your front! Just not your arms! Pop on one of our tanktops and flex your 100% pure beef arms without fear of ripping your new shirt. While your arms are free, go search up what the thalamus looks like.
Hoodies! Hoodies are the best because you can wear them when it is cold, or when it is hot, you can cry in them and nobody can see, or you can house like thirty chili dogs and just stank the whole thing up. You are ungovernable when in a hoodie, so why not get one! Did you look it up yet? The thalamus? Haha, classic.
This graphic pops so hard on our mugs, I can’t choose a favorite color to pair it with. I bet you could drink like a hundred cups of coffee in one of these things without even trying.
And after a hard day at work, you just want to come home and enjoy a nice beverage in your fanciest glass. Mix up your favorite drink and knock one back in honor of all the brain cells you’ve lost.
Oh man, did you hear something loud just now?
This baby is ready to blow!
Practice the gentle art of hand-grenade based self-defense. Sensei Chuck honed his hand grenade-based martial arts through countless trials and emergency room visits. Put this shirt on and let everyone around you know that you studied at a dojo that has its own federal powerpoint presentation! Available only in the vault, because we can’t trust this kind of power to just anyone off of a random street in Florida, grab one today.
Trauma puppets not included.