Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)
The Complete Austin Powers for Gameboy Strategy Guide
Mike Drucker is our newest resident Hot Dog, specializing in 30 year old shitty mobile games. Navigate menus, baby!
Tiger Electronics’ Mega Man 2
This is impossible to explain to anyone under 35, but a long time ago we had alternatives to real video games that were basically elaborate clocks. Here, just read this. It won’t make more sense, but you’ll have a good time.
Nintendo Comics System
Another early video game alternative was to not play a game at all, and instead read a comic book about it. None of this was fun, exactly, but it kept us quiet for part of a car ride and that’s all anyone wanted.
Super Mario Scented Water
Yet another alternative to playing a video game? Smelling a video game! Dab your neck with Mario water and become irresistible to fungus and turtles.
The Top Ten Fighting Games Where Jesus Fights Santa Claus
Just a classic old-web style listicle with no twists. No twists!