There are no standardized ways to measure curses, but 2009’s Megan Wants a Millionaire is the most cursed television show of all time. It was born from a reality show knockoff of a chain of reality show spin offs of a reality show knockoff starring a reality show star famous for losing reality shows. The title is not fucking being cute, and it was a show about a woman selling her services as a “trophy wife” to “millionaires.”
The Dogg Zzone 9000 Hot Dog Nights: Megan Wants A Murderer, Part One is available wherever you get podcasts, and you can start listening now! But back to what I was saying about Megan Wants a Millionaire…
The show was purposefully waving its filthy dick at decency, just daring society to collapse. It was a human auction starring seventeen men so pathetic they thought going on TV for a chance to buy pussy from a dirtbag made them look cool. But one of these performatively amoral monsters had a secret. It turns out one of the, again in quotes, “millionaires,” was… a murderer.
You might already know this story. When an almost popular VH1 dating show gets pulled from the air after three episodes because one of the singles killed his wife, your entertainment news editor is going to say yes to the story pitch. The incident was pretty famous and, without exaggeration, changed the entire reality show industry. But what makes our story special is this: Brockway doesn’t know which one of these guys is the killer.
Don’t tell him! Don’t tweet it at him or mention it in Discord or invite him to a Dungeons & Dragons campaign called “GOBLET OF THE DONALD IS THE MURDERER.” Robert is going to, in this multi-part podcast series, try to figure out which contestant is the murderer just from how he runs obstacle courses or tries to fuck a dingbat.
He and I (this is Seanbaby typing, hi) are joined by my old friend– producer and editor Eddie Doty. Among his many TV credits, Eddie edited several of the VH1 shows leading up to this including Flavor of Love, I Love New York, and Rock of Love. He coined the phrase “Krang body” which we use several times to describe Donald, producer of the Chainsaw Cheerleaders film series and for all Brockway knows, a murderer. Here’s Donald (he didn’t win or murder anyone (probably?)):
Enjoy the show and I repeat: if you remember who did it or have The Google, don’t tell Brockway! We haven’t recorded the entire series yet and it’s very important to me to find out if he can detect murderers simply from how they perform during zany activities. It helps support us if you Like and Review! And please Firemare us on Krull!