Teamworking Day: Covenant Eyes

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11 replies on “Teamworking Day: Covenant Eyes”

Full disclosure: I haven’t yet read the article. I just scrolled through it in my email, as I usually do, to check out the funny pictures first.

But I saw the very last line about Jeff, and I felt the need to comment, as it immediately made me think of the hippest cat around. There ain’t no doubt when he’s around. With pants pegged tight with hair and fitness, he’s the 80s nod to fitness splendor.

Chances are I totally didn’t get the point. But that made me smile. A lot. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what hot-dogging’ is all about?

All this is going to do is challenge people to masturbate to something that is NOT detected as wanking material. So, we are about 1 year out from the pineapple upside down cake freaks… I mean there are just so many holes to pop…

and after watching that video just one time… my YouTube recommends are already fucked up. thanks, bois

At the risk of sounding like I’m shaming an entire religion (and the many many MANY sub-sects of said religion), seeing a super Christian guy standing next to the words “SHAME CYCLE” might be the most on-the-nose representation of how a lot of those sects operate, just saying.

What do you suppose 12 year old Colossal Man is spanking it to on that laptop? Looks like purple crystal porn…?

Since the barely-hidden implication is that we’re talking gay shame here, I assume it was Prince videos.

Colossal Man’s eyes are terrifying to a degree I haven’t seen since…

Oh, god, I get it now. That man is at least a captain in Mario Lopez’s army of the dammed.

All this masturbation commercial thing reminded me of the last metal album advertised on TV in Spain. In the early 00s, local TVs aired hardcore 90s porn in late night. When they cut to comercial and old metalhead appeared and yelled: “C’mon man, stop jerking off like a monkey! If you want to get a REAL boner, go buy the new Judas Priest album! You’ll be amazed!” So maybe Colossal Man could substitute Covenant Eyes with being a hardcore Rob Halford fan. It would be just as ironic, but cheaper.

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