Nerding Day: M.A.S.K.

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8 replies on “Nerding Day: M.A.S.K.”

Somewhere around the quilt episode, my brain realized that none of the words I was reading made sense in the order in which they were written, so it just stopped trying to parse the sentences and I realized that for several paragraphs I’d just been looking at random words without thinking about them.

I useta watch this show all the time. I had a couple of the toys. Even as an eight-year-old, I knew the stories were REAL dumb, but who cares because the motorcycle could turn into a helicopter.

So T-Bob is convincing enough as a god to pull it off twice? I’m assuming at least two of his miracles were card tricks.

Choi is actually a Korean name, and Sato – the last name of a M.A.S.K. agent, who obviously knows Choi’s son, because they’re both Asian – is a Japanese last name, yet the episode takes place in China, also because Asian.

Bringing this up in 1985 would’ve gotten you into a protracted argument with cartoon writers over “What’s the fucking difference, smartass?” And “Who the hell cares?”

Next week would feature a Navajo “brave” who lives in a teepee.

Duh V.ELN.O.M., everyone knows that in Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree. You dummies shouldn’t kidnap people until you finish your required reading.

As with many 80s long form toy commercials, the most memorable thing about M.A.S.K. was its theme song. Which I sing to myself every time I put on a facemask.

Wait. So you’re telling me my youthful devotion to this show and toy line did NOT make me an educated, worldly adult like I thought? I was convinced I was an expert on obscure treasures, just never had the guts to jellify the Venice canals to claim them.

I also like how the IMDB reveals that this show has about two dozen people interested in it enough to post reviews of each episode, and even that dedicated fanbase’s highest accolade is, collectively, “It’s okay, I guess.”

> A real insight into the brains of the shitty nephews of Hasbro executives who got banished to writer’s rooms.

Hasbro? They wish. M.A.S.K. was Kenner trying to get in on some of Hasbro’s sweet, sweet transforming car/colorful team of globetrotting heroes/half-hour animated toy commercial business.

Hasbro bought Kenner in 2000, so M.A.S.K. is a Hasbro brand now. But like Gobots, it was originally an off-brand knockoff.

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