Learning Day: The Bridge and the Pump

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9 replies on “Learning Day: The Bridge and the Pump”

I’d totally let a train of innocents die to save my son but I’m not a Mormon so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I have taken one Mister neck’s dedication to research to heart and attempted to ascertain the meaning behind that last short film that he spoke about and I believe that I have uncovered the answer to this mystery. All investigation indicates that this is something called The Parable of the Pump that Mormons appropriated from certain protestant communities that’s meant to teach how you have to put in some of what you have on hand maybe even if it seems like you can’t stand to part with it with the faith that you will receive more in return. That sounded awfully familiar to me so I did a bit more digging and it turns out that this is one of those stories that the big church fellas tell about prosperity gospel, which I remembered from a particularly entertaining episode of the John Oliver show wherein he talked about how you’re supposed to send a dollar to a man who wants to buy an airplane and you will become a very rich man in turn (I assume you get free airplane rides for life or something). Mister Oliver didn’t seem to approve of it very much so he did a joke where he and his wife asked people to send him some seed but I guess the joke was on him because a lot of people sent him actual seeds and also some semen, which seems to me like something the post office ought to have noticed when the packages started dripping but I am not a mail scientist. On the other hand he did get a big old mahogany hog out of the deal so maybe he was the real winner in the end.

I very much appreciate the titties on that remote control, and if someone could tell it for me, that’d be great.

As a librarian who has done a stint in a pretty rural system, the intro got to me hard.

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