Punching Day: FaceGym

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8 replies on “Punching Day: FaceGym”

As someone who’s had a Brazilian butt lift, I feel attacked. 😂

Just don’t ask them about cootergym, there are UK laws in regards to fists and— look just don’t ask about cootergym.

Yeah, they are a beacon of joy.
I do miss Parts Chunky… Points Chalky… Pants..?

Who was I talking about?

Okay I think I see what happened here.

Inge Theron traveled the world for three years trying to find the secret of the perfect face. As she spoke with head-hotness experts from around the globe, she had the same experience many have meeting health-and-beauty gurus: finding them incredibly offputting. Most of us can walk away just mildly annoyed, but Theron had a mission.

She persisted. She talked to genital tanner after asshole bleacher after breatharian after peedrinker. And each time, each beaming face eager to tell the world about the beauty secrets of hummingbird poop, her ability to deal with her own colleagues’ shit crumbled just a bit. Each time, she got a little more disgusted. A little angrier.

This is a trap. This woman has turned against her industry and plans to bring it down from the inside, and all its enablers with it. I don’t know what her endgame is, but I’m not sure I care. She’s tricking rich ladies into beating Jesus out of themselves because everybody looks better after an asskicking. As long as that stays in the plan I’m on board for whatever.

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