Nerding Day: The Top Ten Fighting Games Where Jesus Fights Santa Claus 🌭

The holidays are right around the corner! The decorations are up! The scented candles are out! And the judging of everyone else’s method for celebrating has begun. No matter what you do, Halloween and Christmas decorations will always go up far too early or ridiculously too late. And, if you’re someone who puts up Thanksgiving decorations, you have too much time on your hands and need to stop. Just throw a pilgrim hat on a pumpkin or something.

Of course, the holidays are also about bringing family together. And if there’s anything that defines the bond between family, it’s fighting. It isn’t a holiday unless one dark, dark secret from the past is revealed and someone else begins the process of a divorce that’s somehow going to suck in everyone. And if there’s two things that define the holidays, it’s the non-denominational figures of Santa Claus and Jesus of Nazareth.

But, you only have so much time during the holidays. Between shopping and pretending that it takes up much time, you don’t have much time! What if you can only spare a few minutes for fighting or Jesus and Santa? What if you needed a game that both reaffirmed the violence of the holidays with some of the most beloved figures in history? Well we’ve got news: Fighting games fitting that description exist.

So, without further ado, here are the top 10 fighting games where Jesus fights Santa Claus.

10.) Fight of Gods

Right off the bat, let’s start with a relatively recent one. Fight of Gods is a 2017 PC game in which you can play as a deity from pantheons around the world. Zeus, Anubis, Moses, Buddha, and most of the rest of the gang are all here! There’s one guy missing for good theological reasons that South Park can probably better explain. We don’t want to get into it! We don’t need to get into it! Let’s keep on going!

While it’s not the best fighting game on the planet, Fight of Gods actually does allow you to choose Jesus and Santa Claus as fighters. Therefore, it earns a place at the top of this list.

9.) Fight of Gods

You might be thinking I’m talking about the 2017 version. This is actually the completely identical edition for the Nintendo Switch that came out in 2019. In this version, as with the previous version, you can play as both Jesus Christ, the savior of humanity, the king of kings, the big kahuna, and Santa Claus, the savior of fun, the kris of kringle, the bigger kahuna. While the Steam Deck has made this feature a little less useful, The Nintendo Switch version of Fight of Gods was the first time you could take it to go! Christmas mass, here we come!

8.) Fight of Gods

What’s really cool about Fight of Gods is that Jesus and Santa Claus have Jesus and Santa Claus-themed powers. Like, Jesus can do a big super combo by ascending into a ray of light from Heaven! And Santa Claus – oh man – Santa Claus makes his reindeer and sleigh drive super, super fast into Jesus. And Jesus is like, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me a second freaking time!”

Also, Jesus starts the match by breaking off the cross and he uses the stumps from the arm parts of the cross to punch harder. It’s like Hellboy’s big arm that’s cool, but with Jesus it’s much more like Heavenboy. Santa Claus can throw gifts and stuff, too, which makes sense. He can also have a Christmas tree pop up real fast and you wonder if Jesus even knows what an evergreen tree looks like or if he’s like, “Whoa! What is this thing? We only have palm and fig trees where I’m from!”

7.) Fight of Gods

You might be thinking, “Can’t I just make Jesus and Santa Claus in Tekken or Street Fighter 6 or Super Smash Bros.?” And the answer is, of course, yes, you could make those characters. You could spend hours making Jesus look like a gaunt man from Venice Beach whose only hobby is pushups. You could spend days making Santa Claus look like the only fat person on Earth who’s comfortable in that many layers of clothing.

Instead, in Fight of Gods, the seventh entry on our list, Jesus and Santa Claus are already right there for you! They’re pre-made and ready to go with their own levels such as the Garden of Eden and the North Pole. They also have alternate colors for both of them with textures that make you wonder if it’s problematic or if you are the racist one for thinking it.

6.) Fight of Gods

To answer the biggest question on your mind, Jesus’ level is the Garden of Eden one and Santa Claus’ level is the North Pole one. These sure are some fun stages in our next entry: Fight of Gods! The North Pole level features a wintery background – mimicking where Santa Claus lives – with elves and gifts scattered about! The Garden of Eden level features a lush forest – mimicking where the first man disobeyed God and doomed us all to the stain of original sin – with a bored-looking Adam and Eve watching in the background! Have they sinned yet? Have they tasted knowledge? They’re not talking!

5.) Fight of Gods

You know, part of me does wonder if – maybe – Adam and Eve saw Jesus fighting Santa Claus. I don’t know how this might happen. Satan could show them the future on a retro-TV screen like the Time Variance Authority does in fun Marvel stuff. Although a TV screen would be futuristic to Adam and Eve no matter what, so that’s worth keeping in mind. It’s also possible that, because Jesus himself is God, that he took Santa Claus to the time period where they could do the least amount of destruction if things got out of hand. That’s pretty cool, actually. Jesus and Santa may have beef with each other, but they both genuinely care about the children.

4.) Fight of Gods

There was also a version of Fight of Gods for PlayStation 4. Did you know that? It’s a fact!

3.) Fight of Gods

The PlayStation 4 version of Fight of Gods actually replaces “Jesus” with a similar-looking character named “Saint.” Don’t tell anyone, but it’s still Jesus – but instead of big punching crucifix hands, he’s got angel wings like the X-Men character Angel. But Santa Claus, he doesn’t deal with small fries. What “saint” is this one, anyone? One of the big names like Peter? Or are we getting into the weeds with Saint Genesius of Rome? Santa doesn’t know, so why should he fight him? Santa is mad at Jesus for co-opting Christmas. Santa has no reason to be mad at some random person who got mauled by lions for sport in the coliseum.

2.) Fight of Gods

If I could go back to Adam and Eve for a second. So, imagine they’re in this perfect garden, right? They know no pain. They know no suffering. They’re walking around pointing at random animals going like, “That one’s a turtle. But that one’s a tortoise. They’re different, okay?” It’s a good life, but also, it’s hard to appreciate that when it’s always been good. Maybe they’re content. Maybe they’re bored. But God was pretty clear about one thing: Don’t eat from the Tree of Knowledge. And Adam and Eve were really good about it.

But then, Jesus and Santa Claus pop in. These are two people they’ve never seen before. In fact, they’ve never seen anyone before. Santa Claus looks insane to them with his massive red coat. But even Jesus – wearing a loincloth and a crown of thorns – looks overdressed to them. It would be like if aliens appeared in your yard and started fist fighting. You’d watch them and realize that there’s far more to the universe you understood. So maybe they really got into the fighting thing. They saw Santa beat up Jesus and then the two left and then Eve was like, “Maybe we could learn how to do special moves if we eat this fruit.” And then a snake came by and said, “That’s true!” And so they did.

Like McWorld, we must admit as a society it could happen.

1.) Fight of Gods

Apparently there was also an arcade version that looks better and adds new characters! That’s pretty great! And, unlike the PlayStation 4, it’s still Jesus! Sounds like we just got a new best fight between Santa and Jesus!