Author: Mike Drucker

Just like we do every year, 1-900-HOTDOG is taking the very best articles by the very best people and making them free. Just like every year, this is our holiday gift to you and the world. And just like every year, you and the world got us jack fucking shit. So make it up to us by spreading some of these free articles around, or sharing the entire free category of the site to your friends, family, and enemies you still kind of want to bang.

Mike Drucker is a published author, comedian, and prolific TV writer. He also writes for 1-900-HOTDOG. He’s slumming it, is what we’re saying here. He doesn’t need this job, and that means something crazy: He’s writing about old broken cash-grab video games and nightmarish made-for-TV specials purely out of passion. He might be the most dangerous maniac we employ.

1990 Kenner Toy Fair Catalogue 🌭

Mike is the kind of guy to go to an antique book fair and drop $100 on a toy catalogue. Those things they gave out for free. That they sometimes paid you to take, and now make up 30% of all landfills. He paid 100 bills for that. And then he wrote about it for us so he could write it off on his taxes. He’s a fucking genius.

Will Vinton’s A Claymation Christmas Celebration 🌭

You know Will Vinton’s work. He’s the California Raisins guy! You remember the racially problematic dancing claymation raisins. That’s him. The perfect guy to explain what’s special about Christmas. Stay for the erotic walrus ballet, you’ll thank us later. Well, you’ll do something to us later.

Street Fighter 2 for the ZX Spectrum 🌭

Come experience Street Fighter the way it was meant to be played: With one button, two colors, and on a cassette tape.

Ranking Every Song on the Mortal Kombat Album Other Than Techno Syndrome 🌭

“Techno Syndrome” unfairly overshadows every other song on the Mortal Kombat album. What the hell is “Techno Syndrome,” you ask? It’s that techno song where a guy yells “Mortal Kombat!” There was a Mortal Kombat album, you ask? Yes! Was it good, you ask? You ask a lot of fucking questions.

Mega Man for DOS 🌭

Mike Drucker grew up exclusively on broken video games for consoles that barely existed. Sure, he loves Mario. Oh, on the Nintendo? No. He only played the ports for the Zubaz GleeVision 4x. Yeah, the pants company. They weren’t originally in pants. It’s complicated. Just like getting Mega Man to run on DOS.