Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)
Tenko and the Guardians of The Magic
When 1900HOTDOG assembles into an elite fighting force, Merritt is the wild card we rely on for obscure ’80s and ’90s cartoons that died unmourned. Like Tenko and the Guardians of the Magic, a Captain Planet ripoff about stage magic featuring — WOW! A real magic creep in every episode!
Jurassic Park’s Bizarre 1990s Toylines
The 1990s were a lawless time for toys. We lost a whole generation to poison slimes and eyeball poking rockets. So when some executive signed off on a toyline where Sam Neill has a fucking nuclear bomb, nobody batted an eye. Which is why we lost so many to the rockets, you see.
Star Crystal
What if the xenomorph from Aliens heard the word of Christ? Brought to you by the fine makers of Coca Cola: The official soda of alien baptisms.
A Very Special Today’s Special
Alcoholism is no joke, and that’s why this delicate subject matter should always be handled with puppets. Canadian puppets!
Man2Man Alliance
If you loved Dick Fight Island, you’ll love Dick Fight World. It turns out the only truly heterosexual way to fuck is to rub two penises together like you’re trying to start a cockfire.