I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Brockway is back! Hooray! Our long international nightmare is finally over. But don’t think it’s all sweet dreams and buttercreams from here on out. Maybe you forgot, maybe you didn’t know, but I’m here to remind you:
That’s right, none of you are safe! And to make sure you always remember that, we have our pal Ice Pop Paul available on all sorts of clothing you can wear at all times!
Here he is on a hoodie! Don’t like that color? That’s fine, we have six other colors to choose from!
“But what about when it gets too hot, and I need to take my hoodie off?” you say, desperately trying to find a loophole. NOPE, he is on your shirt!
“Aha! But my body is shaped different and I prefer a different cut. Sorry Ice Pop Paul, you’ll have to find someone else to torment.” That’s why we also have him available in this women’s style cut.
I’m gonna cut you off before you start, just like I did with these sleeves. We even have him on our tanktops, so stop trying to get out of this. You can either buy the clothing with the dude on it, or we can tattoo him on your chest, and my tattooing rate starts at $5500 an hour. Plus expenses.
And a per diem.
3 replies on “Hot Dog Store: It’s Your Ol’ Pal Ice Pop Paul”
Wait, did I miss either a joke bit or a cease and desist? Why does our “ol pal” have a new moniker?
A little bit of both! The store hits us with an automated copyright violation for trying to use the word Popsicle, as it does with all major brands. We thought that fit in nicely with Pete’s whole vibe, being a sort of “do not speak its name” kind of deal.
If anything of any name can be Popsicle Pete, we will never make the mistake of feeling safe. Ice Pop Paul teaches a valuable lesson.
Also, it’s truly wonderful to have you back, my dude. I can finally get rid of that squirrel I named Brockway to fill the void. Squirrel Brockway did NOT like being indoors, and had many ways of telling me so.