Category: Store

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Hot Dog Store: Cover your Traxx

Or maybe let Traxx cover you? That’s later, for now THE OFFICIAL ACTION FIGURE (shirt)!

I really enjoy this one. It has so many jokes packed into it like some kind of joke themed hydraulic press. Maybe. I’m running on fumes at the moment, just roll with it.

Show everyone how much of a fan of the last comedy website you are by buying the shirt of the action figure we wish we could make! With real Nitrate-Blasting action! Maybe if enough people wear the shirt we can make Big Action Figure bow to our demands and release the limited edition hot dog action figure for real. Wouldn’t that be something?

Funny thing about what is in the vault today…

Hey, have you ever been on the discord? Have you asked them to show you the 1988 classic film Traxx? Just pop on in and say “Hey, we watchin’ Traxx today?”

This is a throwback to one of the first Meat Parties. There’s this movie that is quite the experience. I can’t even explain it. I think Brockway said it best, “There’s a sick sense of unease throughout the whole film. It’s funny in the way that a bear with his head stuck in a log is funny — it’s also sad, and might get loose and kill you at any moment.”

Anyway, this is the Ghana Traxx Shirt, and it is only available in the vault.

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Hot Dog Store: You were warned

Strange things in the vault, I can feel it. But let’s not focus on that yet.

Right now let’s focus on something we all love, a pint glass!

Get your drink on with this tasteful pixel logo adorned pint glass. It’s got a slice of pizza, it’s got seanbaby, it’s got brockway, all it needs is your beverage of choice and to be in your hand. Remember, these are beautiful works of art and should not be put in the dishwasher or microwave unless you want to destroy them. And by all means, you do you. You bought it, you can do anything you want with it!

Ok, last week I told you that you gotta buy the stuff I talk about here or t here will be fiscal consequences.

I didn’t have enough tank top money to fight off the dicks, and now they’ve exploded all over the vault.

I’ll be honest with you. If you buy this, you go on a list. But maybe that list says “HERO THAT BOUGHT A SHIRT TO WEAR TO THE BANK” you don’t know till you buy it. Also I really need you to buy a few of these so I can safely bring out new stuff. Tell you what, if someone buys this, I’ll see about getting a cool new design in the shop to balance the scales.

The power is yours!

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Hot Dog Store: Jiggle That Tank

The unnamed, unused Hot Dog mascot. Title unrelated.

A Farewell to Arms? More like a Hello to Arms, peep this:

We got Jimmy Jiggles on this weeks shirt, but we went ahead and ripped those sleeves off for you. Now everyone can see those gains. You have been drinking the special protein slurry we drip under your door each week, haven’t you? Do you know how hard it is to get half of those ingredients? Don’t be ungrateful, the least you can do is buy a tanktop to thank us for our sacrifices.

The vault smells like piss and arby’s, that can only mean eleven things…

It’s BIGFEETS!

Normally they say “Don’t get strangled by a bigfoot.” but really that isn’t a problem when you are wearing this VAULT EXCLUSIVE PLUNGING V-NECK VERSION OF THE BIGFEETS SHIRT HOLY SHIT WHAT??!?!??

That’s right, this week in the vault we have the classic BIGFEETS shirt but with less fabric than normal, entirely in the top middle chestal region, just for you! Don’t let this incredible offer pass you by, dive into the vaults and buy this today or next week you’ll get dick fight island.

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Hot Dog Store: A Most Delightful Mug!

I recently got this mug and it confuses the heck out of everyone who walks by my desk. It’s incredible.

I think it is a great conversation starter, or ender, depending on who you are talking to. There is no way to ever explain what it means to anyone, and it can hold liquids and some solids too. What an incredible deal, grab one today!

Something incredible is happening in the vault.

Time to celebrate a national treasure!

Due to printing errors some shirts may have a fatal deviation. Not responsible for incredible acts performed while wearing this shirt.

But for real, this shirt is fantastic and should be purchased as a great graduation gift or something. They’ll love it!

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Hot Dog Store: Bits For Your Chest And Mats For Your Desk

Who doesn’t love a good bit?

(Note, evil version of the shirt not available in this dimension)

Do you love fun? Do you love books? Do you love shirts that talk about 1001 ways to have fun from a book featuring the Seanbabies? Wow, I didn’t think you’d keep saying yeah to everything, you are going to love this shirt.

I sense a new arrival in the vault

Oh boy what a treat!

Brockway, McQuade, Pargin, Seanbaby. Four Kings beats whatever you’ve got going on. Someone asked for this gigantic desk mat in Discord, and we made it! That’s right, those with access to the vault get access to request cursed items, and if it isn’t too ridiculous, sometimes we make them! And sometimes they just get subjected to horrible, horrible curses. Life is a game of give and take.

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Hot Dog Store: A Dozen Dirty Dogg Designs Dback Din Dstock!

Alliteration is easy as hell.

This week I had several members tell me that our classic shirts were out of stock. I went down to Target and demanded to speak to a manager. Three hours later I left with new knowledge about how our store does and does not work. None of that is relevant though, I just wanted you to understand the lengths I go for you. I’ll fight a karate cop for you. That’s how much you mean to me!

Oh and also I went ahead and updated all the old shirts that were on pieces of clothing that ceased to exist. So check it out, all these classics back in stock, for you!

There are at least 7 bits in this 8-bit hot dog.

Assembled dogs, more like ASSembled dogs.

The classic BIGFEETS back in stock!

Knock Knock, who is there? The DOGG BOYZZ

Double your doggon with Double Doggon!

We’ve said it 380 times before and we’ll say it another 380, every day is upsetting day. It’s Hot Dog Days!

Let everyone know that they are the dorks, not you! Hot Dog Handshake

Jimmy Jiggles Jimmy Jiggles Jimmy Jiggles Jimmy Jiggles Jimmy Jiggles Jimmy Jiggles

A story as old as time, Hot Dogs vs Apes

You’ve played the games, you’ve read the novels, now wear the shirt! Mormon Doom!

Year 2 Dogg Cru! Wow!

Last week I said the vault was having some upgrades. All I did was add one new thing and I’m not even gonna talk about it. I am the world’s greatest businessman.

Instead this week I’m bringing back…

Oh yeah, this one is a beauty. You know what they say: the game may die, the shirt never will. This incredible piece of history is available if you find it in the vault.

Good luck finding whatever else is hidden in there! And don’t buy it!