Category: Store

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Hot Dog Store: Dads Love Mugs!

It’s fathers day this weekend you ungrateful jerks. Did you even get your dad something?

If you have a dad that rules, get him some of these. If you have a dad that sucks tell him to go fuck himself. No time for loser ass dipshit dads. Only cool dads in here. nd if your dad is dead like mine, buy a mug to celebrate not having to pretend he wants golf balls, a tie, or one of those barbecue tools shaped like a gun.

Look at this mug, it is very cool and your dad would love it. You might love it too, but this isn’t about you unless your children are also panic buying in a browser tab right now. You gotta buy it, I’m telling you. You have no choice.

Maybe your dad likes some silly violence. I bet he does. Imagine him sipping morning coffee from a mug where a hot dog is delivering 100% beef directly to a brain’s hypothalamus. That’s fatherhood!

Your dad was probably alive in the 80s. I’m pretty sure of it. Not that it has anything to do with this mug, but I like knowing there was a time when your dad maybe wore dolphin shorts and trusted a man named Guy to fix his carburetor.

The vault has some evil in it this week.

And by evil I mean a giant foam head you can trust.

Mascot week! A week of fun and hijinx and totally no murders. What a super cool time. Put this on your body. Wear it proudly! Your dad may finally understand what went wrong.

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Hot Dog Store: NEW THIS WEEK – Riders of the Golf Karts

You did it, you bought enough pairs of Seanbaby socks and Brockway bathwater that we were able to get a new design in the shop for you.

Brett poured five souls into the creation of this, and boy did it pay off. Take a look:

We all know the old adage, “Ride low. Squatch high. Fear only corn.” Well now we finally have the shirt to represent it! It has everything you could possibly want in a shirt, and after buying it you can literally burn the rest of your clothes.

Hey, do you smell that? Take a deep whiff while I open the vault…

OH NO IT IS A LEVEL SEVEN INFECTION, QUICK TU-

rn this corner right here and have a seat. Have you heard about Corey? 
Oh, you haven’t? Delightful. Well, as you know, I am Corey, they are 
Corey, and as soon as you started to read the beginning of this sentence, 
you are Corey. Isn’t it great, Corey? Being part of something so exciting 
and comforting? Be sure to navigate your way through the vault to get your 
official We Are Corey shirt, so everyone knows you are Corey. And then get 
extra shirts so they also know they are Corey.

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Hot Dog Store: The Dogg Boyzz and A Secret!

This week I’m showing you another classic, the Dogg Boyzz are on a Shirtt!

Well I was about to upload the image of the shirt but then you can’t get away from AI these days, it is everywhere so fuck it, generate the image of the shirt.

Perfect, AI is so incredible, look at this incredible job it did!

Nah, that was just a silly bit, I’d never let AI touch our stuff. I had to make sure you knew before I got too far in the bit. Ok let’s continue.

Hello valued human consumer. Are you currently experiencing torso? Then PoxCo AI has detected a merchandise opportunity. Introducing the 1-900-hotdog action shirt, a premium

textile platform featuring “two” extremely looking — heroes who are legally distinct from all memories you enjoy. And honestly, that’s rare. This shirt is perfect for wearing, owning, explaining, covering chest, and less! Order today. The shirt cannot order itself yet.

Looking at the into premium torso archive features…

Perfect for fans of secrecy, men, secret men,dogs:

This garment celebrates The Secret Men, a 1900HotDog Duxcast about classified masculine operations, probably. Wear it to communicate that you support podcasts, espionage, and whatever a duxcast is. It includes:

  • Secret man left
  • Secret man middle
  • Secret man right
  • Animal assistance
  • Graphically
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Hot Dog Store: Cover your Traxx

Or maybe let Traxx cover you? That’s later, for now THE OFFICIAL ACTION FIGURE (shirt)!

I really enjoy this one. It has so many jokes packed into it like some kind of joke themed hydraulic press. Maybe. I’m running on fumes at the moment, just roll with it.

Show everyone how much of a fan of the last comedy website you are by buying the shirt of the action figure we wish we could make! With real Nitrate-Blasting action! Maybe if enough people wear the shirt we can make Big Action Figure bow to our demands and release the limited edition hot dog action figure for real. Wouldn’t that be something?

Funny thing about what is in the vault today…

Hey, have you ever been on the discord? Have you asked them to show you the 1988 classic film Traxx? Just pop on in and say “Hey, we watchin’ Traxx today?”

This is a throwback to one of the first Meat Parties. There’s this movie that is quite the experience. I can’t even explain it. I think Brockway said it best, “There’s a sick sense of unease throughout the whole film. It’s funny in the way that a bear with his head stuck in a log is funny — it’s also sad, and might get loose and kill you at any moment.”

Anyway, this is the Ghana Traxx Shirt, and it is only available in the vault.

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Hot Dog Store: You were warned

Strange things in the vault, I can feel it. But let’s not focus on that yet.

Right now let’s focus on something we all love, a pint glass!

Get your drink on with this tasteful pixel logo adorned pint glass. It’s got a slice of pizza, it’s got seanbaby, it’s got brockway, all it needs is your beverage of choice and to be in your hand. Remember, these are beautiful works of art and should not be put in the dishwasher or microwave unless you want to destroy them. And by all means, you do you. You bought it, you can do anything you want with it!

Ok, last week I told you that you gotta buy the stuff I talk about here or t here will be fiscal consequences.

I didn’t have enough tank top money to fight off the dicks, and now they’ve exploded all over the vault.

I’ll be honest with you. If you buy this, you go on a list. But maybe that list says “HERO THAT BOUGHT A SHIRT TO WEAR TO THE BANK” you don’t know till you buy it. Also I really need you to buy a few of these so I can safely bring out new stuff. Tell you what, if someone buys this, I’ll see about getting a cool new design in the shop to balance the scales.

The power is yours!

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Hot Dog Store: Jiggle That Tank

The unnamed, unused Hot Dog mascot. Title unrelated.

A Farewell to Arms? More like a Hello to Arms, peep this:

We got Jimmy Jiggles on this weeks shirt, but we went ahead and ripped those sleeves off for you. Now everyone can see those gains. You have been drinking the special protein slurry we drip under your door each week, haven’t you? Do you know how hard it is to get half of those ingredients? Don’t be ungrateful, the least you can do is buy a tanktop to thank us for our sacrifices.

The vault smells like piss and arby’s, that can only mean eleven things…

It’s BIGFEETS!

Normally they say “Don’t get strangled by a bigfoot.” but really that isn’t a problem when you are wearing this VAULT EXCLUSIVE PLUNGING V-NECK VERSION OF THE BIGFEETS SHIRT HOLY SHIT WHAT??!?!??

That’s right, this week in the vault we have the classic BIGFEETS shirt but with less fabric than normal, entirely in the top middle chestal region, just for you! Don’t let this incredible offer pass you by, dive into the vaults and buy this today or next week you’ll get dick fight island.