It’s fathers day this weekend you ungrateful jerks. Did you even get your dad something?
If you have a dad that rules, get him some of these. If you have a dad that sucks tell him to go fuck himself. No time for loser ass dipshit dads. Only cool dads in here. nd if your dad is dead like mine, buy a mug to celebrate not having to pretend he wants golf balls, a tie, or one of those barbecue tools shaped like a gun.
Look at this mug, it is very cool and your dad would love it. You might love it too, but this isn’t about you unless your children are also panic buying in a browser tab right now. You gotta buy it, I’m telling you. You have no choice.
Maybe your dad likes some silly violence. I bet he does. Imagine him sipping morning coffee from a mug where a hot dog is delivering 100% beef directly to a brain’s hypothalamus. That’s fatherhood!
Your dad was probably alive in the 80s. I’m pretty sure of it. Not that it has anything to do with this mug, but I like knowing there was a time when your dad maybe wore dolphin shorts and trusted a man named Guy to fix his carburetor.
The vault has some evil in it this week.
And by evil I mean a giant foam head you can trust.
Mascot week! A week of fun and hijinx and totally no murders. What a super cool time. Put this on your body. Wear it proudly! Your dad may finally understand what went wrong.