Category: Store

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Hot Dog Store: It’s Your Ol’ Pal Ice Pop Paul Back in stock!

So some of our older prints are on blanks that no longer exist. I’m working on updating it! First is one of our oldest pals. Maybe you forgot, maybe you didn’t know, but I’m here to remind you:

That’s right, none of you are safe! And to make sure you always remember that, we have our pal Ice Pop Paul available on all sorts of clothing you can wear at all times!

Here he is on a hoodie! Don’t like that color? That’s fine, we have six other colors to choose from!

“But what about when it gets too hot, and I need to take my hoodie off?” you say, desperately trying to find a loophole. NOPE, he is on your shirt!

“Aha! But my body is shaped different and I prefer a different cut. Sorry Ice Pop Paul, you’ll have to find someone else to torment.” That’s why we also have him available in this women’s style cut.

I’m gonna cut you off before you start, just like I did with these sleeves. We even have him on our tanktops, so stop trying to get out of this.

A bit of construction happening in the vault this week, so nothing to showcase there, but I saw recently someone was unaware of a very special thing that was created not too long ago.

It’s like music, but for your ears!

When we started this website, it was a thin excuse to pursue our true passion: Podcasting. When we started the podcast, it was a thin excuse to pursue our truer passion: Commissioning custom theme songs. Finally you can give us money for them, and help make a very small dent in our absolutely crippling theme song debt.

1-900-HOTDOG: THE ALBUM contains 18 theme songs, 23 Extra Wieners, and 1 stunning high res artwork of all 16 of your favorite dogs. Featuring the musical talents of Zak Koonce, Jamie Kelly, Seanbaby, and technically Brockway, 1-900HOTDOG: THE ALBUM is the perfect theme music for any occasion, from the bedroom (fucking) to your neighbor’s carport (also fucking). You can fuck to this album. You can only fuck to it. You’re not allowed to do anything else but fuck while playing it.

Available only on our patreon.

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Hot Dog Store: Brockway vs Seanbaby!

IT’S SATURDAY! IT’S THE STOREPOST! IT’S A SEANBABY VS BROCKWAY AND NOBODY IS MAKING IT OUT ALIVE!

That’s right, this week I’m bringing back a classic, the Hot Dog Karate Shirt!

Choose your sensei and learn the forbidden groin secrets of the east with this incredibly comfy and cool as hell shirt! We have it in several colors and sizes but I’m not going to say which just in case it changes and I look like a jerk. Go click the link and look and buy it and put it on!

BUT WAIT, THEY AREN’T DONE FIGHTING!

OH SHIT, CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER

BROCKWAY IS FUCKING SEANBABY UP!

NOW SEANBABY HAS THE UPPER HAND!

WHO WILL WIN? WHO WILL DIE?

The only way to decide is to buy a shirt. Victory is yours for the taking.

You can find these shirts and a bunch of other ridiculous merch in the secret PoxCo vault. I’m not gonna show you where it is though because that’s part of the adventure!

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Hot Dog Store: An Extralarge Crisis!

Be the manimal, little person toy genius, or speedboat wrestler you want to see in the world.

How’s your April been so far, good? Fantastic. Tell you what, why don’t you go ahead and grab one of these incredible posters and hang it up in your home, keep those good vibes going.

See? Look at that, it really makes the area pop! You have a lovely home by the way.

Or be cool and buy one of the shirts! You won’t regret it at all!

Look, there is one of our satisfied customers right now. Boy he looks like he is very happy with this shirt. You can be happy just like that. It is easy!

I’m amazed our vault isn’t bursting open with what’s inside this week. Let’s take a look:

It’s EXTRALARGE!

From bonk to conk, celebrate the martial prowess of Italy’s Reacher with the only official extralarge 1-900 HOT DOG shirt. This son of a gun is available only in our secret vault, so don’t go around telling everyone about it. Just wear it and be like “oh, this old thing? I actually forgot I even had it.” people love it when you do that!

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Hot Dog Store: Hot Dog Pail Kids and More Micro Rib Tanks!

It’s almost April fools! I think that means you need to buy something for someone. That’s how the holiday works, right? Anyway, look at these bad boys. Try to collect them all! There are two.

This week I’m talkin about 1900HOTDOG HOT DOG PAIL KIDS!

Available right now in our store in a variety of colors and sizes. Here it is in a women’s cut.

Also available as a tank top in EIGHT different colors, including Oatmeal Triblend?!?! I think this is the most we’ve ever offered. That’s pretty incredible. One for every day of the week, and then a bonus for when you eat oatmeal I guess? Bet you’ve never had a dedicated oatmeal eating tank top like this.

These ain’t your mama’s mugs, unless you end up buying these mugs for your mama, in which case, they absolutely are your mama’s mugs.

And last, but certainly not least, the classic cut. This thing looks and feels incredible. It’s a beauty from start to finish, top to bottom.

We’ve been on a tank kick recently. This time I mean the vehicle AND the clothing!

Oh shit it’s the Dogg Boyzz, and they are on their very own micro-rib tank top!

Choose your outfit, and choose your character. This tanktop is available only in our vault, which is hidden away for all but our most special members. They frolic in the vault and drink cocoa and all kinds of cool stuff like have parties. You should totally join and find out what you are missing. Also buy a tanktop while you are in there.

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Hot Dog Store: Cursed Artifacts and a New Vault Tank

I still have no idea where I put that damn catalog.

Well, in the meantime, why don’t you check out our cool Catalog of Cursed Artifacts shirt!

It comes in eight different colors, including one called OXBLOOD BLACK, which I think is this sort of dried blood color for some reason?

So, you know, you got options. Freaky options, but options!

We also have it in a women’s style cut, if that’s more your thing.

If you thought the eight colors with dried blood options shirt was impressive, this style comes in twelve different non-blood-based color varieties.

It won’t protect you from the horrors that are bound to head our way now, but it will cover your torso, and that’s a guarantee.

“But Hot Dog Store,” you say aloud to your phone while you read this in the bathroom, “I have enough shirts! Don’t you have options for those of us with fully covered torsos?”

Of course I do! I have everything! Check it out, we have The Catalog of Cursed Artifacts available as a poster. And not just any poster, we are talking about 16 by 20 inches of high quality 10.3 mil, 189 g/m² Japanese paper with an ISO brightness of 104% and a 94% opacity. Hang on, because I need a cigarette after typing that out.

This thing is beautiful. It’s thick, it’s bright, and it can double as a lap mat in a pinch.

Let’s look in the vault!

Save the world without leaving your chair.

War of the Cubes Micro-rib Tank Top available this week in the vault! Come and get it if you can! If not, maybe you can get an amazon delivery drone to hack the vault to get it for you?

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Hot Dog Store: Right In The Brain Dick

This is your brain on Hot Dog.

Have you tried to explain to your friends, family, coworkers, parole officer, or religious official what exactly 1900HOTDOG is? Have you had problems expressing comedy for smart people that somehow makes them dumber, but in a helpful way? That strange paradox of education against your will, but education that you still seek out each day?

Well struggle no more, we have exactly what you need.

Wake up with a swift kick to your braindick in our classic cut shirt. Wear it on dates, to funerals, or even to your court hearings! You’ll be dressed to impress no matter the occasion.

And don’t worry, we are just getting started. We’ve got the women’s cut ready for you to show off the exact feeling you get when you learn about a sex cake baker that is also somehow a cannibal who ran a children’s show for eleven years.

It’s winter time! You hate sleeves, I hate sleeves, the entire system is built to oppress people like us, but we have your back! And your front! Just not your arms! Pop on one of our tanktops and flex your 100% pure beef arms without fear of ripping your new shirt.

Hoodies! Hoodies are the best because you can wear them when it is cold, or when it is hot, you can cry in them and nobody can see. You are ungovernable when in a hoodie, so why not get one with a cool ass hot dog popping a field goal right in the brainbag.

Okay, maybe you have enough clothes. You’ve got like three pairs of pants and 91 shirts, and it’s not like we are selling socks. But do you have enough mugs? Yes. Should you get more anyway? Also yes. This graphic pops so hard on our mugs, I can’t choose a favorite color to pair it with.

And after a hard day at work, you just want to come home and enjoy a nice beverage in your fanciest glass. Maybe that fancy IPA you got, or maybe ketchup and chocolate syrup with lemonade. It’s all you, dogg!

Bigfeets of Black Water Micro-rib Tank Top!

You’ve caught him. Now what are you gonna do with him? Oh shit I just realized it is pi day, I should have done something for that. Well damn. Maybe next year. In the meantime, go buy this sick ass tank top!