Hot Dog Store: Hot Dog Pail Kids and HORRORS FROM THE VAULT

Collect them all! There are two.

NEW MERCH TIME! You never asked but we made ‘em, 1900HOTDOG HOT DOG PAIL KIDS!

Available right now in our store in a variety of colors on that comfy shirt stock you know and love. Here it is in a women’s cut.

Also available as a tank top in EIGHT different colors! I think this is the most we’ve ever offered. That’s pretty incredible. One for every day of the week, and then a bonus for when you do laundry.

Not a shirt person? More of a mug meanie? Don’t worry buddy, these look fucking sick as hell on mugs.

And last, but certainly not least, the classic cut. This thing looks and feels incredible. Hang on, I’m going to zoom in on the Heather Prism Ice Blue variant so you can get a good look at it. Here we go:

Hell yeah that…

Shit. What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK???

BROCKWAY? SEANBABY? I NEED HELP IN HERE!!!

OH FUCK OH FUCK

I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN ONE OF THESE DAYS

SHIT

WE ARE BEING PUNISHED FOR OUR HUBRIS

Hang on, let me compose myself for a moment.

Ok. We all know 1900HOTDOG deals in cursed artifacts. That’s a given. Usually it’s something funny or upsetting or whatever. But it’s always for laughs. There is a dark side to this bargain though.

The main reason we have the vault is to make sure the worst of the worst doesn’t escape. We front load it with hunk shirts and wiener hats, but that is to hide the true horrors within.

This week, our punishment comes in the form of a shirt that you should absolutely not buy under any circumstances. I’m not being cute and making a joke or being ironic or anything. This is a curse that you cannot unsee, and to buy it and inflict it on others would be a dick move. The dick kind of move that might get you in a fight.

Do NOT buy this shirt. Don’t buy it in any of the nine colors it comes in.

For every three laughs we are given one curse.

I can’t contain it for much longer. I’m doing my best to get it back in the vault. Please, do not buy this shirt. The more you do, the stronger it gets.

Remember me as a hero.