In 1994, EA published Shaq Fu, a terrible fighting game about Shaquille O’Neal traveling to another dimension to rescue a boy from a kung fu mummy. It’s, to this day, the most bad ideas anyone ever had at once without dying. It’s absurd, but a dark, clinical type of absurd like a birthday clown who can only do impersonations of your grandparents’ last words. Needless to say, I have been captivated by Shaq Fu for many years and adapted it into the children’s book you’re about to fall in love with.
Fans of the game may notice I’ve taken some liberties in The Unauthorized Child Novelization of Shaq Fu in order to help the reader explore what it means to be Shaq on a kung fu rescue quest. For instance, you, the reader, are Shaq. It’s not the first Shaquille O’Neal book I’ve written in the second person, but it is the first one written for someone who was not specifically Shaquille O’Neal. As he, his publicist, NBA great Horace Grant, and several housekeepers already know, I’ve been writing the exciting You (Shaq) & Me (Seanbaby) series for over 30 years.