For this Nerding Day, I was looking through one of many books on Rubik’s Cube solutions I own. They have their own notation and terminology, complicated 3D matrices, and as I’ve told myself several times before, they exist in a weird gray area where they’re too absurd to exist but too boring to be funny. Rubik’s Cube guides are the post 2005 Steven Seagal movies of books. But hundreds of pages into THE EASY 40 STEP METHOD TO CUBE DOMINANCE by Calvin Puzzle, I noticed something strange… something I’m not sure he meant for me to see.
I found a really weird book. This book is very strange. I don’t know how to explain this book. I have found a strangely weird book. I feel like this book was a different, maybe less strange book before.
5 replies on “The Easy 40 Step Method to Cube Dominance 🌭”
This is like Event Horizon meets incel culture meets that toy your parents bought cause they eyed it at the drug store while buying another box of Franzia and wanted a new way to humiliate you. And I’m here for it.
Just awesome beyond words.
No, I am Melvin Masturbator! Shit, I-I mean Spartacus! Damnit, where’s my cube…
See… the trick is to OWN it. I masturbated at camp once too, but i didn’t get “caught” like some type of a pussy. I jacked it as loud as i could and i yelled out the names of several peers and adults who might have been in earshot outside windows or doors. I owned it, and everyone was quiet for a few moments… before the slow clap started.
He should just have gone back in time to tell George Washington to suck his asshole. I hear that’s pretty hard to mess up.