Categories LEARNING DAY Cracked Remaster: The Most Efficient Way To Do Everything Post author By Robert Brockway Post date 09/14/2020 To view this content, you must be a member of 1900HOTDOG's Patreon Unlock with PatreonAlready a qualifying Patreon member? Refresh to access this content. Post author By Robert Brockway Post date 09/14/2020 Tags cracked, Remaster 7 Comments on Cracked Remaster: The Most Efficient Way To Do Everything ← Let’s Visit: Babyland Hospital → The Many Certain Deaths of Commando Cody, Part 2 🌭 7 replies on “Cracked Remaster: The Most Efficient Way To Do Everything” PLEASE do more of these Cracked Remastered articles. I used to love that site until the greed goblins took over. Not to menchun the speling errarrs on there are enuf to mak sumone go insne!!!1! We will, if only because the formatting is all broken in the archives and nobody will ever fix it. If this piece did not result in a MacArthur Genius Grant being handed out within the first 12 hours of posting, what are they even for? Cowards, mostly. I would pay to see a hidden camera show where Italians eat Pizza Hut. TAKE MY MONEY! cheated The word shattered the quiet of his mind. cheated The word was an echoing taunt that he couldn’t escape. Deep inside he already knew, no matter what he did, where he fled to, the word would follow him. cheated denied The word, joined now with a compatriot. It invaded him – a thought from beyond his consciousness, projected into his mind. Violating it. Staining it. Cheated Denied The words grew louder, slowly filling him. He had searched. Truly, he had. He had followed the trail laid out before him. He had interrogated every part of the universe he could reach with mortal language for the answer to his question, and that answer had eluded him. No – been withheld. Cheated Denied “No,” he said, unaware that he had whispered aloud. “I must not. I cannot.” CHEATED DENIED The Words summoned now a haze, clouding his sight. “Curious,” he thought/said. “I always believed that It would wear a crimson veil.” Surely THE WORDS must have arisen from beyond him. No. These were not my thoughts. My? No. His. His thoughts. His WORDS. Another’s. … Silence? Now? Bewildered, he cast his gaze about his surroundings. Why? Why would THE WORDS have stopped? What plan did this demon hold for me? ME?! NO! HIM! JUSTICE The silence in my mind shattered as a thousand voices screamed their new mantra. JUSTICE. Yes. “I must seek JUSTICE,” I said as the chartreuse fog fully overtook my vision. Consumed me. Overwhelmed me. THE WORDS were true. We must seek JUSTICE. JUSTICE JUSTICE JUSTICE JUSTICE I throbbed now, filled to the breaking point with my newfound purpose. … … Silence again? Peace? NOW! (like, you can hear them pronounce the exclamation point) The time had come. He had the answer. He must have had the answer. Why else would he write it? To taunt me? Surely no man would dare so foolish an act. “BROOOOCKWAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!” I stood upon the table now, my fists raised to the heavens, no longer able to discern what WORDS lived within me and which had erupted into the world from inside the fragile, fleshy shell this force had been constrained within. I found myself holding nunchuks. The really rad kind with, like, flames and skulls and stuff painted on them. Yes. The implements of JUSTICE. Whether in knowledge or flesh, we would see the price paid – the debt settled. “I swear to you now, Brockway, upon the corpse of your zombie god that I WILL FIND YOU…” Blood-flecked spittle dripped from my lips, staining my chest, my shirt long since shredded as the fury fled the shabby confines of my body. “…unless you reveal to me how to spank a man to death in but a single blow!! FULFILL YOUR PROMISE OR FACE OUR WRATH!!!” You got me thrown out of my favorite Olive Garden dude. Not cool. Oh I’ll teach you, but it’s knowledge that only lasts a few seconds until the deathspank kicks in. Comments are closed.