Explaining Prince to People Who Don’t Know Prince

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6 replies on “Explaining Prince to People Who Don’t Know Prince”

This is an absolute masterpiece and needs to be sent to both the Library of Congress and Paisley Park for future generations to know of its magnificence. Also I am pretty sure that in whatever astral plane Prince ascended to and seized when he was tired of fucking the literal existence from this one he is chuckling softly, biting his lip, and planning to bang you in your dreams, Brockway. You lucky bastard.

You laid down this masterwork on Prince’s fuckabilty and probably thought I was here to praise you. Well, enough of that. I’m here to give notes on this new art.

Sure, it’s got you flying off a motorcycle with the calm demeanor of someone facing death who realizes at the first moment too late that they should have stuck with Lutheran. And sure Fucking Day has a balding guy in a Sting bathrobe and that straight fucking rules.

But when I saw new art I was like, “oh he totally got someone from Malibu.” But you didn’t. You fucking didn’t. And this is almost like that time my dad forgot my birthday and pretended that he ordered a Chicago Cubs birthday cake for me from Dairy Queen and we got there and he was all like “wow, bud. They forgot to make it. That tractor one looks pretty neat.” And I got a forgotten tractor ice cream birthday cake. That’s my disappointment level. And yes, I still ate the shit out of that cake. Just like I still read the shit out of your comedy. But damn.

I feel like I just got pineal-fucked by the Fountain. Before I only knew Prince was the inspiration for most of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures, now I know in my heart that he is the Platonic Form of Josou Seme

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