In 1991, Jaleco released a game on the Nintendo Entertainment System called Shatterhand. You controlled a man maybe known as Shatterhand who had to clear Areas A through E to blow up the future. Again, maybe. The game opened with someone harmlessly shooting Shatterhand and getting punched, ended with Shatterhand smiling in front of nothing but explosion, and there was no other exposition between those things. It’s what storytelling scientists use to calibrate perfection. This is the story of the novelization of that story.