Podcasting Day: Here Comes Batpussy, Fuck Yeah! 🌭

The year was sometime in the early ’70s. Three people with one wet cough and zero erections tried to invent the first porn parody. 

We are joined by our friend Michael Swaim (Small Beans, Cracked, IGN) to try to make sense of it in our first ever episode of 1-900-HOTDOG Nights (with sexy new theme song from Auralnauts). It’s filthy. Filthy.

It started with a married couple arguing over an erotic newspaper. The husband worked at a factory, maybe an office. He didn’t know how to have sex or maybe he had too much. His wife was unemployed, wait maybe she was a prostitute. She had kids from a previous marriage, hold on, they could be her current husband’s and at school during the time of filming. The point is, there was no script and 98% of this adult film was an ad libbed argument between two confused, naked idiots. It’s called Bat Pussy.

Maybe. Probably. It was found in the trash two decades after it was abandoned, and the “main” character is called “Bat Woman” almost as often as she’s called “Bat Pussy.” She’s the protector of Gotham City and she’s upset because her vagina sensed, and I quote, “fuckin’ dirty motherfuckers are makin’ fuck films in [her] Gotham City.” But also she seems mad for not being included in the production of the porno? And look, I promise I’m not trying to confuse you, but it’s also worth mentioning that no one in the movie is filming a porno.

Bat Pussy was an impossibly strange idea even before they fucked up every possible aspect of production, and they were right to hide it. We shouldn’t have dug it up and described it to you. Don’t mention that when you leave a review! Try to forget it when you subscribe! Thank you, and you all know how to fuck.

7 replies on “Podcasting Day: Here Comes Batpussy, Fuck Yeah! 🌭”

Who could have foreseen that after fourteen long years of absence, Michael Describes Pornography would make a glorious return?

I fucking lost it at “flesh riddle” Thank god I was alone in the room at the time. Explaining that would have been… troublesome.

What the hell was that? I thought I’d skim through it before listening to the podcast and I literally can not describe what I saw. It’s like the drunken hookup that started the relationship has been ADRed with the 911 call that ended it.

It’s almost midnight and I have work in the morning but I feel like I should stay up and listen to the podcast. I was not prepared and now I need three experts to dismantle this if I’m ever to reassemble whatever part of me this broke.

For some reason the line ‘your pussy tastes like a washtub’ made me lose the use of my legs, come on people I almost broke the good bong!

I swear to god when you guys started talking about the weird, super long scene of her bouncing on a ball across a field memories came rushing back to me and I think I somehow saw this years ago, but all I remember is Batpussy bouncing on the ball across a field for what felt like an eternity. I can only assume that I have repressed the rest of the film.

The Cinema Snob did a review of this years ago, I’m guessing Batpussy bouncing across a field would be pretty much the only footage he could use uncensored. Maybe you’re remembering that?

Are you sure this is porn and not clever anti-porn activism trying to stop people from ever watching porn again (or possibly ever getting sexually aroused for that matter)?

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