There’s an arcade game I love called Growl. It came out in 1990 and it was about Indiana Jones killing poachers. Not a gang of poachers, but every participant in an industrial poaching complex living in a country made entirely of barrels each of which contained a machine gun or rocket launcher. It only had four different enemies, and only two of those weren’t women or children. Every night I stare at the fourteen Pac-Man strategy guides I own and whisper, “I wish just one of you useless pieces of trash was about Growl.”
Well, somehow the darkness answered. On my bookshelf this morning was 13 Pac-Man books and this…
…
This article was brought to you by our fine sponsor and Hot Dog Supreme: Neil Bailey, who knows that vengeance smells like burning gorilla flesh, and it does not come out of khaki.
9 replies on “Nerding Day: How to Win at Growl 🌭”
Holly crap! I mean that’s super funny, but the craftsmanship that went into this piece is fucking masterwork.
I just looked this up. This game existed! I thought you had lovingly created those janky looking screen grabs
Blip Luster, you sparkling-mouthed legend.
This looks like it took so much effort.
Seriously, nice job
Genius stuff. I thought I hallucinated this game in my youth. Surely I’m not the only one who read the ‘What’s that sound’ on page 31 as David Lee Roth. Right?
I like Blip and I hope he’s doing well.
I look forward to the sequel!
I knew not to trust Blip Luster from the beginning, because a true credible champion would spell that bitch “Blipp” for the reassuring second P. DONN NAUERT FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stifling the laugh that “On your 6, lion!” produced nearly killed me.