Fucking Day: Kissing, The Complete Guide

Dear Tamar,
I played the ‘Lifesaver Game’ per the directions included in your guide to kissing. I need advice on how to construct an apology for having gagged to completion on half a string while in close proximity to someone else’s mouth. I’ve purchased a card with an penitent puppy on the cover, but I need help with the wording of the note. I tried poetry, but I could find a rhyme for “your mom’s fanciest couch pillows” or “years of therapy.”