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PUNCHING DAY

The Best Hot Dogs of 2022: Punching Day 🌭

A punch can be anything: An attack, a firm answer to a stupid question, a friendly hello to a son of a bitch, an expression of love to an insane Russian who no longer feels pain. Nothing is more flexible than a punch, and we used every part of the fist buffalo in the Year of the Punch: 2022. 

Best of 2022 Punching Day #1: Man Sports Comics by Seanbaby

Moon karate is the only way honorable men and Dougs settle disputes in the far-flung future of 1976. Waterfall hockey is the only way insane forest maniacs and Mikes settle disputes in the dystopian land of Canada. It’s a Man Comics dedicated to insane challenges like this one: Fistfight us atop a large bodysurfing man, you cowards! 

Best of 2022 Punching Day #2: The Fashion of Marked for Death by Tom Reimann

Steven Seagal told the world exactly who he was with his outfit choices in Marked for Death. The world did not listen, and that’s how we wound up with more than 0.27 Steven Seagal movies, which is the scientifically calculated ideal number of Steven Seagal movies. (Consisting solely of the tube scene from Executive Decision and a superclip of him running.)

Best of Punching Day 2022 #3: FaceGym by Lydia Bugg

There’s an ancient Chinese proverb which, roughly translated, says “the enemy of time is many small slaps.”* That’s the reasoning behind FaceGym, the only gym that’s not a gym but a series of low stakes attacks. This is the article that prompted Lydia to become a certified Slapologist!** She’ll slap you*** until you’re pretty again**** if you ask her!

*Not true.

**Not true.

***True.

****Beauty is subjective.

Best of Punching Day 2022 #4: Ninja Mind Control by Seanbaby

In this manual you will learn deadly, forbidden techniques to dismember a man completely, such as Make Yourself Big and Tiny Step. When the authorities find you knee deep in the quivering gore of your many enemies, remind them that you bowed first and are therefore unprosecutable. Oh right, also remember to bow first – we should’ve started with that.

Best of Punching Day #5: Billy Karate by Brockway

Much of Brockway’s Hot Doggery this year was delivered via jumpkick over modestly priced sports car. Billy Karate made its debut as a serial right here on 1900HOTDOG, and has now been pulled because they might be making it into an actual movie. This is all just here to remind you that the world is very stupid in ways you will never predict or understand. You must face it head on, with full heart, eager fists, and a mouthful of KIAI!

2 replies on “The Best Hot Dogs of 2022: Punching Day 🌭”

I would be here for a whole series on action movie fashion choices, I love that article so much.

good thing i downloaded the PDF for the Billy Karate screenplay while i had the chance. So if this movie ever gets made, ill print the whole thing and track down Brockway for an autograph. And by autograph i mean the footprint his spinning kick will leave on my body as a reminder never to track him down again

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