Learning Day: 9 Cats, 9 Lives

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8 replies on “Learning Day: 9 Cats, 9 Lives”

I feel pretty bad for Winston Churchill’s Malaysian Concubine. The dude executed her and then she got stuck with him again reincarnated as his wife.

Most of my past lives have been as amoebas or scarecrow abortions, but I was once the shift manager of one of Jennifer Aniston’s past lives at an Atlantean Sbarro. She was pretty down to earth but did not like having to help clean during closing because she said she had been The Big Man Clarence Clemons, the E Street Band saxophonist, in a past life and so it was beneath her. I was like, girl, I was the real life inspiration for Ted Lasso’s nervous breakdown three lives ago so don’t try to big time me and she reluctantly accepted the mop. Atlantis fucking sucked for that kind of thing but they were chill when I bit people so you have to take the good with bad when you drown a continent.

I’m concurrently living 3 billion lives. Every time I die, I live the life of the youngest cousin of the second to last person to talk to my oldest friend, unless that friend was also me, in which case I’m just the person born immediately after the second to most recent life I’ve lived.
I have already been Hulk Hogan, but I don’t want to spoil 2026 for anyone.

I can’t believe you saw Henry Ford and jumped right to the association with racism. Henry Ford was a busy man and only had so much time in his day to spend on racism. For instance, he also had to find time to fit in all of his antisemitism too. He had all kinds of people to hate and all kinds of bizarre paranoid categories to check off.

It’s a horrible oversight that, for all your griping about Prophet not writing about cats, you also failed to include even a SINGLE PICTURE of your own cats.

“Two out of two dead leaders makes me feel like the party’s over. If I’m culting up, I want to touch the O.G. manipulator’s garment hem. I can’t fanboy an urn.”

But that’s the beauty of reincarnation, Alex. You could become the new leader yourself by claiming you already are, just in a new, more geeman looking body. I mean, you already did all the research. Just saying.

hold on, “when Ford was working on developments to the vailx that allowed transoceanic arial travel”. Is that to imply that Lindberg crossed the atlantic in an atlantean zepplin?

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