Best of 2023 – Seanbaby

In 2023 Seanbaby opened the doors to the vast library of cursed media he spent a lifetime collecting, and destroyed most of a city with the shockwave. It was exactly the scene where they shut down the Containment Unit in Ghostbusters, but instead of ghosts it’s books about karate magic and bad sex.

Fucking Day: How to Date a Jamaican Man

He hasn’t quite proven it yet, but in this weirdly specific book about dating Jamaican men, probably just one Jamaican man who is terrible at sex and whose mother disapproves of filthy American panties, something feels a little bit off. Could it be… the author… is an oblivious white woman who got laid one time on vacation and made it her entire identity? That’s probably it. And the filthy panties thing. That’s weird, too.

Punching Day: PUNCHES

W. Hock Hochheim wrote an unparalleled police adventure, and he called it simply PUNCHES. If you don’t spell it with all caps, a fat Dallas cop stands on your neck until the city has to pay your family 8 million dollars.

Punching Day: 1001 Street Fighting Secrets

Martial arts participant Sammy Franco promises 1001 secrets to help you win a street fight. Does he have 1001? Absolutely not. Does he have 101? Still no. Does he have one meaningful secret that will help you just survive a street fight? Yes. It’s “read the newspaper.” It’ll save your life!

Punching Day: The Mr. T Game

When we started this website we had one simple rule: each article should cover a piece of real media that feels wrong in some indefinable way, and try to define that way. It’s a rule we broke almost immediately, and we were right to do so. If we hadn’t, Seanbaby would never have invented his own Mr. T Board Game, featuring everybody’s favorite inspirational bouncer and lots of dead, dead teens.

Upsetting Day: That Bank Teller from Dragged Across Concrete

In the movie Dragged Across Concrete, there is another movie. This other movie is 11 minutes long, it features none of the characters from Dragged Across Concrete. This movie exists to ask one simple question: Is there such a thing as too much love for a baby? The answer is yes. Well, actually the answer is an exploding skull, but it’s kind of a metaphorical yes.