Super fun article. I loved the part where one woman tells her Yoga practitioner friend: “I don’t do Yoga because is very Satanic, but instead try this Christian thing with me” and the friend, after seeing it, says: “Yep, still totally fucking Yoga” and she is horrified by the discovery
One time I was at a yoga class and I saw Satan’s nutsack. I wasn’t perving on him: he’d actually cut a teabagging hole in the bottom of his lycra shorts.
“One of the most important tenets of modern Christianity is spreading the word of Christ’s teaching by whatever methods necessary, and for some people, the best way to spread that word is by having a great ass.”
Poxco “Caked-up 4 Christ” bootyshorts when? the world need evangelism you can hold with both hands
In nómine Patris, et Fílii, et Spíritus Sancti. Amen.
Okay, if you’re creating a Christian alternative to Pilates and call it Praiselates, you suck. Obviously, the only acceptable name for that is Pontius Pilates.
Alabama banned yoga classes in public schools in 1993 and to this day the only thing you can teach is this oddball form:
“Chanting, mantras, mudras, use of mandalas, induction of hypnotic states, guided imagery, and namaste greetings shall be expressly prohibited,” the bill states. It also requires English names be used for all poses and exercises. And before any students try a tree pose, they’ll need a parent’s permission slip.
I’m sorry, but 13 or so 20 and 30something year old men in togas or low-cut tunics drinking wine half the night and all they did was talk and eat? Bullshit, that’s the toga party from Animal House except with a drunk Peter playing Hide the Breadstick with Judas.
The jpeg of that deadly Christian front kick blasted my eyes four inches back into my brain. It’s dark in here
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8 replies on “Learning Day: PraiseMoves”
Super fun article. I loved the part where one woman tells her Yoga practitioner friend: “I don’t do Yoga because is very Satanic, but instead try this Christian thing with me” and the friend, after seeing it, says: “Yep, still totally fucking Yoga” and she is horrified by the discovery
One time I was at a yoga class and I saw Satan’s nutsack. I wasn’t perving on him: he’d actually cut a teabagging hole in the bottom of his lycra shorts.
“One of the most important tenets of modern Christianity is spreading the word of Christ’s teaching by whatever methods necessary, and for some people, the best way to spread that word is by having a great ass.”
Poxco “Caked-up 4 Christ” bootyshorts when? the world need evangelism you can hold with both hands
In nómine Patris, et Fílii, et Spíritus Sancti. Amen.
Okay, if you’re creating a Christian alternative to Pilates and call it Praiselates, you suck. Obviously, the only acceptable name for that is Pontius Pilates.
Alabama banned yoga classes in public schools in 1993 and to this day the only thing you can teach is this oddball form:
“Chanting, mantras, mudras, use of mandalas, induction of hypnotic states, guided imagery, and namaste greetings shall be expressly prohibited,” the bill states. It also requires English names be used for all poses and exercises. And before any students try a tree pose, they’ll need a parent’s permission slip.
https://www.npr.org/2021/05/21/999020140/its-now-legal-to-practice-yoga-in-alabamas-public-schools
I’m sorry, but 13 or so 20 and 30something year old men in togas or low-cut tunics drinking wine half the night and all they did was talk and eat? Bullshit, that’s the toga party from Animal House except with a drunk Peter playing Hide the Breadstick with Judas.
The jpeg of that deadly Christian front kick blasted my eyes four inches back into my brain. It’s dark in here