Hello, welcome to One Nine Hundred Hot Dog Dot Com. If you haven’t figured it out yet, every day is Upsetting Day, but there are different ways to be upset. Allow me to explain.
Fucking Day, Reflecting Day, Teamworking Day, Learning Day, Nerding Day, Punching Day, Even Hot Dog Appreciation Day. We have so many wonderful Hot Dog Days, and every one of them is upsetting in their own unique way.
So check it out, there are a bunch of them on this shirt so you don’t have to choose your favorite. You can wear this thing around and point at people and point at one of the little hot dog dudes on your shirt and communicate without having to say a word. On a date and it’s going well? Point to your heart and let ‘em know what’s what. Mugged in the alley after your date? Point to punching day and let this dastardly deviant know, “Not today bucko!” Available in our classic cut, women’s cut, a tank top, and even a hoodie! No excuse, you can wear it everywhere under any condition.
Now you may have thought we only had this in some sort of clothing option for this, but what about people who don’t wear clothes, or perhaps need to wear uniforms? Just like my manager at Papa Johns said when I was a teenager, as long as you still got a mouth, we are in business.
That’s right, our dog days are available in various sippable containers. Dishwasher and microwave safe mugs with all kinds of wild colors, and pint glasses which you should never put in the microwave or dishwasher. Don’t do it. Don’t. That’s three times you’ve been told now.
Have you thought about your post-life plans yet? We have!
In the vault this week, we have the opportunity to raise funds towards buying one very specific grave.
Imagine, if you will, that there was a grave someone had for sale. Now imagine the grave belonged to a ridiculous dork, and if we bought it, it would be very very funny. Continue to imagine that you have purchased a shirt where all proceeds go to purchasing the graves of our enemies. Imagine no more, because that shirt exists, and is only available in the super secret PoxCo Vaults. Buy one today and put us one foot in the grave closer to the culmination of our entire business plan.