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Classic Remaster – Dumb Things White People Think About Other Races

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7 replies on “Classic Remaster – Dumb Things White People Think About Other Races”

I still remember the day I realized Cracked was truly dead. Iā€™d taken a break from it for a few years while I focused on college, and when I came back there was a pro-Scientology article on the front page.

I remember being away for awhile and coming back and EVERYTHING at cracked was doing the work stuff but el Senor Seanbaby. And politics and beliefs aside, I just dont like preachy TED talk comedy. But I tried to stick with it, went away again, then came back to find like these horrible articles about just shitty things like the comeback of Mr. Peanut and I was like wow, now it went from crusading to a lumbering skull fucked corporate mummy of unfuniness. Then Reddit showed me the way of the hotdog, and my life rules again.

I tried, friend. Went through five pages of search results on cracked and can’t find it. Don’t know if it’s been deleted or just buried under a mountain of more popular articles.

This is some sophisticated shit Mr. Brockway. No memory of this article but I love the thread narrative. Please share more of your aged hotdog meat with us!

You wrote this forever ago, and I don’t know if you check the comments from people working their way backwards through the site like I am now, but Jesus Screaming Dildo Christ, man – this is some of the best comedy writing I’ve ever read. Not today, not this week – ever. The way you progress through the setup and land on the punchline is the reason why I would never try to write comedy for a living. I could try for the rest of my life (and this is also my general style, but better – about seventy percent of the time that I’m saying anything, I’m playing a character named Brian Seiler who is just the worst and the joke is always that I’m wrong, but I’m not nearly good enough at it for that to get across most of the time) and never generate something this good.

I never praise anything. I’m ceaselessly negative. It’s like an involuntary reflex. I’ll praise this, though. Spectacular piece, man.

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