Today, on the Dogg Zzone 9000, Brockway and Seanbaby are joined by 1900-HOTDOG’s own Lydia Bugg. Together they explore unknown territory– the fourth episode of 2009’s Megan Wants a Millionaire. Though a perfect episode of television (because every one of the contestants was a hilarious failure), it was never aired (because one of the contestants got caught murdering).
It’s Part Four of our groundbreaking true crime reality watchalong podcast series, Megan Wants a Murderer! Brockway still doesn’t know which of these terrible men committed a gruesome crime, but you can listen to him try to figure it out from knife throwing alone.
That’s right! The television show taken off the air for murder features a head-to-head knife throwing battle! And a sword fight! And a sumo match where both men are holding a metal pipe? And a martini contest? Wait, and an underwater box-opening race? A-and also a bocce ball competition? And one of the guys pulls out his phone to show Megan his penile implant wearing a Santa hat! And then five of them make out with her, four of them in front of the others?! With special guest star, Jack Dagger, who you of course know as the 2004 National Champion Tomahawk Thrower! All in less than 40 minutes! This show would have changed the world, but the only people it changed were the three of us because we’re the only ones who ever saw it.
Listen wherever you do your podcasting, and help support the site with whatever click engagement things they do there! Will Brockway find the killer? Is it Sex Toy Dave?
Was it suspected human foot collector, David, the “professional” SCUBA diver of 15 years with “certifications coming out his ass” who just fucking sucks at everything and almost died in four feet of water?
Is it maybe Al, the generous but lipless man who spilled champagne in Megan’s eye during episode one?
There’s still one contestant who gets so little screen time and has so little personality none of us can remember him. Chorman? Is it maybe that guy? The Chorman guy I mentioned?
There are so many obvious suspects, and Brockway’s killer-finding mind still hasn’t ruled out lipless Al.
Maybe it’s Alex “Aleconda” who showed Megan an unsolicited dick pic in person, had it go quite badly, told a camera crew, “every time I show a picture of my d**k something good happens,” got kicked off the show, and then told the same camera crew, “she saw my d**k and then she sends me home!? WHAT!? Does she ever want pleasure in her life?” Could someone with that much self-control and good judgement ever take a human life?
You’re going to love it, but nowhere close to as much as we did! And remember: Brockway still doesn’t know which one of these awful, piece-of-shit millionaires killed his wife, so don’t tell him!
2 replies on “Podcasting Day: Megan Wants A Murderer, Part 4 🌔
Why did they cancel this show? Because it would have been insensitive? Because they had moral standards to uphold? You were so close to finally embracing the nihilistic reality of this charade of humanity we call life. Wasn’t this episode already the evidence you needed to prove that we are all cosmic orphans and redemption is a mirage we embrace to distract us from the emptiness of the desert that is the human experience. Didn’t seeing the pride in Alex’s eyes as he displayed his Franken-dick make the show’s creators understand that we no longer have to keep up the facade of moral standards. Just accept that we are impulses and molecules and nothing more. Look at Ryan’s “I’m Straight” shirt and tell me that the triumph of the human spirit is still possible. Let us broken creatures walk hand-in-hand into oblivion and thank this show for revealing that the human soul was a lie.
Also I bet Jack Dagger was involved in the murder just so he could feel again.
i also have no idea who the murderer is, and i am convinced, purely from your descriptions, that its the ‘professional’ scuba diver guy