Nerding Day: The Horny Christian Doom Novelization

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7 replies on “Nerding Day: The Horny Christian Doom Novelization”

Leave it to Christianity to demonize violent video games while turning them into textual soft core pornography.

Only the misguided followers of “White Jesus” could ruin Doom Porn.

But I tell you what – pull this dick lever and I promise that you will be teleported! When working perfectly, you are transported directly to Pound Town! As with all great things, there is inherent risk. Recent tests have shown that 64% of the time, the transporter malfunctions, & you’re stuck in Disappointmentville (Buffalo, NY) waiting 10-15 min for your next ride share. (Or the return of White Jesus, whichever happens first)

I’m guessing the fact that Dafydd ab Hugh wrote a bunch of Star Trek novels in the 90s is a big part of the reason they’re infamous among Trekkies today.

Oh wow, haha. So the other guy, Linaweaver, was apparently a “libertarian” in the sense that he loved Reagan and hated age of consent laws. So I guess that explains the NAMBLA dedication and weird anti-drug messaging.

He also seems to have written a bunch of hacky ripoffs of Man in the High Castle. A lot them. I don’t know what the scifi writers scene was like in the 80s but there’s no way he wasn’t known as “the space Nazi guy”. So that explains the swastikas.

By far the funniest blurb about the guy has to be “His novel Sliders, based on the television series of the same name, includes a thorough critique of communism”. The guy took a middling quality scifi show about teleporting people solving problems in other dimensions and jammed a screed about how socialism sucks in the middle of it.

oh i forgot gorm existed, i wanna bring it back. gormlessly flying through the night

“That’s some top-shelf gibberhooting” is my new favorite phrase.

OK, but in the second book they make it back to earth and wind up in Utah and get saved by one of the last bastions of hope for humanity – THE MORMON CHURCH. I promise I am not making this up. Arlene falls in love with a devout Mormon and converts so she can be with him. I am so glad this article exists because it proves that having read all 4 of these books in the 90’s wasn’t a weird fever dream I had.

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