Forged by the ’90s to be a man of delight and joke density, Gamefully Unemployed‘s Tom is the star of Tom Day, which is the day today. It’s Maximum Tom for a full 24 Toms, which is how you measure time and length on Tom Day.
Best of 2022 Tom Day #1: Wilford Brimley’s Hard Target
Do you have any idea how hard it is to be the best part of a John Woo movie where Lance Henriksen hunts a snake-punching Jean-Claude Van Damme with an elephant pistol? A drunk Wilford Brimley achieved it with only a hunting bow and a few Cajun sounds. And Tom rightfully celebrated this achievement.
Best of 2022 Tom Day #2: The Hidden Mustache in Predator
Sometimes a new discovery makes you rethink everything you know about film. The cinematography of The Shining takes on a new meaning when you hear how Stanley Kubrick personally strangled the best boy each morning. Beverly Hills Cop III becomes a deeper experience when you turn on subtitles and every single line says “John Landis killed me.” A no less shocking revelation happened here, the time Tom noticed an extra mustache in Predator.
Best of 2022 Tom Day #3: Carnosaur 2
It was right in front of our face all these years, but only Tom saw it. Carnosaur 2 is Aliens! No, fuck you, listen! CARNOSAUR 2 IS ALIENS!!!
Best of 2022 Tom Day #4: The Horny Christian Doom Novelization
It would be ludicrous to read the novelization of the Doom video game. And yet that’s what Tom did. And what he discovered was far more horny and religious than anyone could have expected.
Best of 2022 Tom Day #5: Doom – Hell on Earth, A Novel
To read a second novelization of the Doom video game would be unthinkable. A cursed thought. It’s something Stanley Kubrick would make an actor do for a movie about finding spiders. And yet that’s what Tom did again. And even with you now expecting it to be weirdly horny and religious, it’s again far more horny and religious than anyone could have expected.