Best of 2023 – Robert Brockway

2023 has not been kind to Brockway, and Brockway, in turn, has not been kind to 2023. He has taken revenge for his crumbling body with online guides that teach you how to develop a mental illness, video game molesting news anchors, and the entire life and works of Craig Stormon, comic book berserker.

Learning Day: WikiHow to Live Like a Vulcan

If you hate emotion, secretly believe that all humans should operate purely on cold logic like meat computers, and think you might be from space – have we got an article for you! It’s about contacting a mental health professional. It’s not this one, don’t read this one.

Nerding Day: The Mortal Kombat Live Tour Promo

The 1990s thought everything needed a stage show for children, and Mortal Kombat was no exception. Even though it really should have been. Let’s all remember the time Mortal Kombat Live performers had to do local news segments to promote it and got molested by an out of control news strangler.

Nerding Day: Cursed Worlds

Craig Stormon ran a comic book imprint called Blue Comet Press, and Brockway is its most passionate and only fan. Cursed Worlds is the Source Book for the entire Blue Comet universe, by which we mean it’s a deranged, seemingly random collection of poorly illustrated pages bookended by unhinged editorials about the many betrayals of Craig Stormon.

Fucking Day: Running Delilah

Hey, remember the time Billy Zane fucked a RoboCop so hard it exploded a building, killing several caught in the shrapnel blast? It’s absurd that you don’t. It should be a moment celebrated by our culture for all time, like the Moon Landing. Come learn about important American history, you philistine.

Nerding Day: German Disco Christmas Star Wars

Look at that title. That’s self explanatory. You know what this is. You love it. You should have only one question: Does Yoda breakdance in this? The answer is yes. Yes! YES!!

With some caveats.

2 replies on “Best of 2023 – Robert Brockway”

Oh boy! A Craig Stormon article I hadn’t read before! Merry fucking Christmas to me!

(“Nevertheless,” Craig Stormon froths, his eyes pointing different directions. “Windraven is 300 years old, while M’Lady Doom is 200 years old, both having battled-”

“Craig, hold on,” you say, buying time for police to break through the barricade. “This is the synopsis for an introduction, I don’t know who any of these people are.”

“THE SAME SPEAR THAT KILLED JESUS CHRIST,” Craig Stormon screeches the last words you’ll ever hear.)

I am fucking losing it. Craig Stormon actually created a character named M’Lady Doom. Let that sink in.

Honestly, credit where credit’s due. M’Lady Doom is a bisexual dominatrix that knows black magic. Like, that’s a character for the gays and the girlies right there. Perhaps we have been too harsh on the alien hivemind known as Craig Stormon (formerly known as Tankra the All-Knowing). Perhaps he was onto something.

Prob anyone reading this knows but I stayed up til 2:00 am finishing “Carrier Wave” by Brockway and, Holy Shit Brockway writes great books!! It was exhilarating, great story real characters that you care about (which hurts at times, why you so mean to your subjects?). So many great scenes like Lovecraft but actually describing things that are “unknowable” and a cruelty like Evil Dead with the action. I also really loved the RX series and prob will reread, it’s such a rich world that also seems plausible. Please more books when you can, Mr Brockway I will def be reading. Guess I should get in the Discord for stuff like this.

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