Best of 2023 – Sissyneck

Sissyneck really developed as a person* in 2023. He got in touch with his inner sexuality, overcame his fear of apes, then learned to instead fear for the apes. It’s what we call a character arc, so he’ll come out of this adventure changed and with the tools to face new challenges ahead. Someday he’s going to use this Hot Dog knowledge to march right back into that Maverik and tell those teenagers what’s what. He will almost certainly split his pants on the way out.

Learning Day: Helping Hands Homeschool Romance

Homeschool kids need romance too. Wait, don’t think about that one! Don’t think about the implications of that sentence!

Learning day: Ligertown

Behold, the noble Liger! Half lion, half tiger, all dead. This is the story of a man who loved Ligers, and the entire town that aggressively did not.

Upsetting Day: Any Which Way You Can

Sissyneck overcame his fear of apes just in time to fear for the apes in Clint Eastwood’s truck drivin’, hard punchin’, heavily implied ape fuckin’ movie.

Fucking Day: The Sensuous Man

Behold the Sensuous Man, who is actually a man and a woman. Who are actually biological siblings. Writing about their sexual adventures together. Don’t think about this one either!

Fucking Day: Celebrate the Self

It’s become clear that we can never trust a sex book, but you know what we can trust? A masturbation newsletter! Totally different sexual activity and text format. How are you going to accidentally uncover incest if they’re just masturbating? Huh? Not unless there’s some kind of Back to the Future scenario which, aw god dammit. That’s a category on PornHub, isn’t it?

*For the purposes of preserving the Sissyneck mystery, we can neither confirm nor deny his personhood. He might be a raccoon what got into the library and is just fulla vinegar.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *