Categories
LEARNING DAY

Learning Day: Saturday Night Fever Fliks Book 🌭

So i realize i been thinking that most of you know me but that might not be the case, apparently we got enough new Hotdog Neighbors they did mascot week even, so let me introduce myself again: Hello i’m sissyneck, i used to just write in the comments but then they invited me to write these articles too. So: im kinda like the weird guy that goes to all the shows for a band and stands up front and yells all the lyrics (but maybe in like a A.I. Tommy Lee Jones voice) and then somehow the band invited him to open for em for a while, and hell, even I dont know a hunnerd percent if i’m real or a prank! But Brockway’s Thomas Kinkade designer checks keep clearing and Heavenly Father keeps putting delightsome stuff like this in my path:

And I find it hard to argue with that.

Maybe you already guessed, this disco book was in the collectors corner at the Friends of the Libary Book Sale, it might be the most expensive one i ever bought there ($10) except i think it was half off ($5).

Apparently for a while there there was a thing of making kinda comic books with pictures from movies, most of em was called Fotonovels and theres truly some magical ones out there:

And if your wondering why these were ever a thing or who would read them, the boy scout motto for these was: “The Ultimate Rerun!” so maybe you can understand that before vhs or laserdiscs in the rain, this was a way of reliving your favorite cinema. Like the only way.

Just like being in the theatre!

So mine is Saturday Night Fever but its not name-brand Fotonovel its a simon and schuster run outfit called FLIKS, so its kinda a lego/megabloks situation. And I can’t find out ANYTHING about these folks that made it:

Except maybe that Laura Weymouth is sisters with Tina Weymoth from Tom Tom Club? That might be irresponsible specalation on my part though, if you quote me on that you should say: citation needed.

So for me it was fun to imagine these three young people workin for simon and shuster in 1979, sweatin in that special 70s nyc summer heat and probly not even registering anymore that there whole waking life smells like nicotine and piss, and then they get the very excitin word from there boss that: The Shoost he did it again, he got the rights to make a Fotonovel adaptation of this Night Fever movie that’s like starwars popular and: Michael, Joan, Laura, we think yous threes is the ones with the moxie to pull it off, you think yous got what it takes? And this special team of three probably answered wisely by saying: Only if we get the rights to the soundtrack too. And their boss said your bustin my bubbles over here but if thats what you need? You fucken got it. And then probly friendly high fives and laughter and celebrating 1979-style: they went out and got some of those little kid-size cheeseburgers they ate back then and a steaming hot cup of coffee to wash it down.

Sorry i been going back and forth between this book and the movie and Im a little discombabalated in time.

So ill note that this book is a Fotographic Adapatation of the PG version of the movie which: if youve seen the R version, you know thats probly for the better. Also i thought it was good to know that the movie was based on a article written by a british gent visiting the US named Nik Cohn and

Which i dont want to get all high and mighty but: if I just retreated to writing about familiar home stuff every time I was “unable to make any sense of the subculture [I] assigned [myself] to write about”? Well it might look a little something like…pretty much every article i do for this website actually i guess. But it’s good to know that even though the movie looks like this:

In real life it was about this.

Which makes the movie make a lot more sense actually. And also explains why the folks of color and queer that were a big part of disco arent really in this movie at all except to get racisted and homophobed at.

So how did a extra fake movie kinda define how the whole world thinks about Disco forever and always? It’s worth a reminder at this point maybe about how powerful John Travolta was, like there was something about his charisma that had (has?) real strong gravity so that anybody that had any insecurity about there masculinity (aka all men) apparently looked up to him for an exemplar of how to be a modern man in different arenas such as:

THE DANCEFLOOR

Saturday Night Fever, the movie more than the book probly

THE STAGE

Staying Alive, the sequel to Saturday Night Fever, directed by Sylvester Stallone who said about it: “That is me up there.”

THE FITNESS GYM

(emphasis mine) Perfect, this one for realy though taught me a bunch about the ethical considersations of writing about living humans and i honestly think about it alot when i’m writing these articles

THE URBAN RURAL BAR JOINT

Urban Cowboy. That one is specifically a help-meet to me because its clear from our current age how silly a mechanical bull machismo leader-board is but apparently they took it real serious at the time (they even did a bosom buddies episode about it!) so nowadays whenever i feel like maybe i’m failin at some aspect of manhood (like: I don’t even have a truck loan) I say to myself “Could be that’s another mechanical bull.” and I feel better, for a short while anyway.

Putin all these clips together made me wonder how we’ll look back on Taters in a few decades. (Taters is my cute nickname for Channing Tatum, my wife LaRene pretends she doesnt think it’s funny but I seen her hide her smile whenever I say it)

Anyway, let’s end this little Brut-scented interlude and get back to those three youths in NYC, intent on showing there talents by ably bringing the vivid sounds and visions of Travolta and BeeGees from silver screen to pulpy page. Lets see if they did, indeed, have what it takes. Our very first page tells us much:

Alright yes thats a little rough but thats probly their first try, they were still figuring out their workflow and remember, the budget that was likely available for this project covered a overhead projector, a bunch of transparencies, their dad’s Minolta and $2.90 a hour for three crazy city kids with no past left to lose…and a whole future left to learn – of a lifetime.

But that is a pretty awesome promise the thought bubble makes, that we get to read our characters thoughts! Think about it: we dont have to rely on actors doing stuff with their faces and bodies to understand what their thinking, but also: we dont have to read a whole actual novel about it either. The loss of Fotonovels is honestly like how the Concord isnt around anymore; a sad reminder that we are living in the lengthenin shadow of a once-great but now-decayin civilization. (see also: you can’t even watch Bosom Buddies with the original theme song anymore)

So we’ve all seen the first part of the movie a hunnerd times or ripoffs of it when Tony Travolta is just STRUTTIN around Brooklyn and the BeeGees are just DEFYIN the impact of testosterone on vocal chords but now, for the first time, let’s peer into what our protagonist actually had on his mind:

Well that is enlightenin, if kinda faded with time. The shopkeeper we learn was thinkin about the shot of the shirt from earlier and I cant tell if its his fanciful idea that the shirt was thinking “buy me” or if thats objective reality. And Tony was thinkin about the most memorable lyrics from Stayin Alive! Its also good that our design team, in spite of some apparent layout challenges, made sure to include Tonys boss tellin him to go around back. Sadly, the part where John’s Travolta sister Ann is in the movie for a second (giving him pizza) was deemed that it didnt have the artistic merit for enclusion in FLIKS. Hold on we better fix that real quick

Hawhaw that was kinda fun actually! I can see how they got carried away with it. But lets continue to dive into the secret depths of Tonys intermost musin’s:

Huh i actually hope that’s what my face looks like when my boss is yellin at me.

Alright i guess we see that the Brothers Gibb were communicatin on kinda a spiritual level with Tony and there music helped him make sense and cope with lifes hassles large and small. Thats fine actually thats kinda how i feel about Buck Owens. But did Tony ever have any thoughts that weren’t BGs lyrics?

That says “Night on Bald Mt.” because thats the song that was playing during this part. But not the disney fantasia version, the one with hi-hats. Okay, so maybe we’re learning that maybe the soundtrack was actually diagetic, but only for Tony? Let’s continue our study:

At first i got excited about these ones it looked like he was having colorful sci-fi visions or memories of another realm like maybe this book is revealing that Tony is actually a Under the Skin alien from outer space! But then I realized it was just hard-to-see pictures of the disco he was getting ready for, and we already knew he was thinking about that from when the movie used a technology called “film editing” to show us that.

So honestly i’m gonna say that if you got this book hoping to learn more about Tony’s unspoken cogntitives and emotionals your probly gonna be disappointed, cause I was. BUT remember Tonys not the only person in the movie and maybe our FLIKS creative team decided that the movie already told us enough about Tony and they would use this opportunity to really flesh out the inner experiences of the other rich characters. Like remember when Tony tells the one girl who is really into him that he wants to have a different girl as his dance partner? We no longer have to guess how that impacted her:

(You may be noticin those little corner pictures, they are supposed to make a flip-book animation of Travolta dancing but dont get too excited because 1) it doesn’t really work and 2) its often kind of a bad emotional juckstaposition with what’s happening next to it, see above and below:)

But lets get back to the heartbreak girl: when one of Tony’s dirtbag friends stuck two cigarettes up his nose and asked if she wanted one, what did she really think about that?

Or when she was feeling poorly and had to take some medicine?

Or what about when Tony came home from Disco and his whole family was just sitting there not saying anything? If you just saw the movie you might think they were upset about how the son who was a priest left the church, but thats not quite it:

But wait there’s maybe even more to learn about grandma there, spaghetti-focused tho she may be:

I think the book is tellin us that she’s secretly Jewish!

Or maybe not, that underpants Diaboli appears to be of a Christian extraction. And yes, we do learn what the Al Pacino poster was thinking. Also the Farrah Fawcett poster:

This book is kinda like google photos: if there’s a picture of a face in a photo, it thinks its a real person. (I’m pretty sure that just because of the wall art in my home, google thinks I’m actually real life friends with Legolas.)

But its not just good job with the words, there is also FLIKS Visuals Interpertations™. For example, here’s a shot from the movie:

And here is our FLIKS team’s reimagineering:

Pretty! Maybe better than the film version, this one has a improved body-hair to hangover ratio AND we get the special secret-thoughts bubble.

There’s another double-page spread that for real did change the way I watched the corresponden scene in the film:

Try it yourself at home! Watch this sequence and see if you can get through it without thinking to yourself:

Extra points if you can do it without somehow feeling ashamed..

Alright let’s bring this one home, the guy from FLIKS actually did do some original writing for this adaptation, let’s turn to him to see what we learned today:

Maybe. Maybe not. For the “another book” part its definitely: not. Michael, Joan and Laura were not invited back to do another one and in fact as far as I can tell nobody ever made another FLIKS book ever, not even Staying Alive. So I guess that’s for sure the end..

Whoa! I don’t honestly know which it is. As a wise woman once taught us, I don’t know if any of us can never be sure. Tony?

Yes correct, to me too. More than a movie, a little less than a book, and a whole lot of meet me halfway, across the sky. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

This article was brought to you by our fine sponsor and Hot Dog Supreme: Aaron Croston, aka John Travolta’s vacant thought bubble.

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LEARNING DAY

Learning Day: The Brooke Book

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LEARNING DAY

Learning Day: The Magic of MOOOO

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LEARNING DAY

Learning Day: Jim Limber Davis, A Black Orphan in the Confederate White House 🌭

Today’s column is just for kids! Find one.

Hey there! I’m Mr. Dayle, and I’m a teacher. Sometimes the NYPD plays rough with my students, but that probably won’t happen today. Who do the police in your town beat up?

Wow! That’s amazing! And today’s book is even more amazing. Ready?

Just kidding! I tell little fibs sometimes. It’s a “personality disorder.” Just like that aunt you don’t see much! What’s your favorite personality disorder? No need to write it down. Save those pencils for fun facts!

Ready for our real book? Here it is!

Oh, shucks. Now my computer’s playing tricks on me. That happens when you lie. Don’t lie, unless you want to be a president or governor or senator or mayor or comptroller or dean or lawyer or CEO or priest or guru or reporter or pundit or husband or teacher or children’s author.

Let’s try again. You should never give up! Here’s our book:

Funk me! I guess we’re doing this. Giving up was the right answer, and now it’s too late. A bit like the Confederacy! We’re learning already.

This book was written by Rickey Pittman, a very special author. Rickey’s a reactionary! Do you know what that means? Let’s practice.

Good job! Rickey’s just like them, because he never got over 1865. In his heart, Rickey knows the South won. That bullets, food riots, and human dignity could never beat a rebel yell. Reactionaries are why you can’t eat glue, even on your birthday. Put it down!

Most books are pretty nasty to the Confederacy. Readers too. So Rickey wrote his own, just for you! And then another. And another! Rickey can’t stop. This is his dream. Rickey has fifteen books, and some of the words are true!

This one’s about a slave.

Sorry, a great pet. Jefferson Davis’s great pet! According to Rickey, Jim was the happiest property in the world.

But not quite a happy person. Who stole a black orphan’s joy, and why was it Lincoln? Today we get to learn! From Rickey Pittman, a source all Rickey Pittmans trust. Instead of facts or black neighbors, Rickey has a cowboy hat. Bang!

Then there’s the artist, Judith Hierstein. Judith sucks! Does anyone you know suck? Not as much as Judith! Once, she tried drawing a whipping:

But not just any whipping: our hero’s! Jim’s story begins with a savage. That’s savior for bully.

Isn’t that sad? Jim was the first boy whipped in Virginia, and the only innocent. Lucky for Jim, there are humans nearby! With faces, sort of.

Oh no: Varina’s hauling her own groceries! And steering her own cart! Where are her friends? Maybe she can find help. I know this is scary, but history should be honest. Otherwise, we’ll fall for anything.

Who? The kid? Jim’s fine. In Dixie, they called flogging black children “Monday.” What’s your favorite day? It should be Monday, because Varina Davis redeemed it:

Wow! That bully’s definitely dead!

Monday was for gentlemen. Varina saved public property! First ladies used to help people, instead of being black, sad, or whatever Jill is. Let’s clap for Varina. She even kept the whip, in case Jim got homesick.

Maid! She’s a maid.

You’re smart kids, so I bet you’ve noticed: Rickey sucks too! Much more than Judith. He writes the way broccoli tastes. And with teamwork, Rickey and Judith suck four times as much. That’s exponential failure!

Back in The Confederate Alphabet, Rickey tried to rhyme. It didn’t work, but that was better. Now it’s just Rickey’s thoughts, and he doesn’t have many. If a real greycoat saw this, he’d say “Ow, Sherman is burning me! It sure stings.”

Time for training! Varina plays a game with the children. They had to know lots of animals, so that they could tell the maids what to hunt. Including bad maids.

MOTHERFUNKER. How great! Jim’s posed like a duck! Try it. That’s classic treetop duck, peeling bananas and mangos. To see more ducks, watch Tarzan. They’re great pets, if you let them borrow your face.

Varina bonds with her new pet, and keeps her haunted face. Inside! Outside, you’re a field maid. Inside, you’re sixty percent family. Rickey wants you to know the difference. Otherwise, you might meet a scary monster. You’re brave kids, so I think you’re ready.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Rickey’s stories turn gentleman guilt into gentleman smiles. Gentleman power, even.

Now that Jim’s a trained house friend, he’s ready to meet the messiah. A messiah’s a teacher for your soul. You know, that thing that hurts near bad books. We avoid those here, but be careful. You only have one!

Meet Jeff.

Hi Jeff! Look how happy Jim is to meet a real president. Bullies call happy people “House Darklings.” They like stealing joy. If you meet a bully, don’t start a fight. Tell them Dixie Rises, walk away, and then check on Star Wars. They’re stealing that too!

Then Jim eats at the Davis table. Indoors! They throw him bones and fatty meat, but no chocolate. Chocolate’s bad for family friends! Just like voting.

What a pal! Joe dies two pages later.

Don’t laugh.

It’s not funny.

Come on.

Mocking grief is wrong. And you’ll need that energy later: Jim’s joy turns to ash. Has anything in your life turned to ash? Tell your study buddy. Gentlemen listen (to each other, not first ladies or maids). Nurse that pain until the uprising.

First, bullies reach the Holy Land.

Not Piecake! Sounds like Jim didn’t pray hard enough. Make sure to really clasp those hands together, kids. Otherwise God sleeps through it like a plague.

What? Good question: why was Jeff playing with his guns? Shouldn’t he be helping? Figureheads could still point or pray. Everyone matters. Jeff looks worthless in crisis, but he must have had a role. Otherwise, Rickey’s wasted his life.

Jeff returns for his family, and even Jim! He has a plan to get to Texas, using all the wit and will that made him great.

It doesn’t work out.

The Union’s here! Some of you read alone, which I’ll let slide today. Union soldiers are just like orcs. They enslave others, fight to keep doing it, and serve an ageless demon with magic rings. Nothing is worse than an orc. Except those bigger orcs Saruman had. Or trolls. The Easterlings seemed pretty mean, and the Nazgul were zombie wizard kings. Let’s just say Union Captains were like Nazgul.

Varina’s brave! The world wants her humanity, and she stands tall. And it works! Captain Hudson changes his mind. He learns that everyone’s different, and some people need maids. He even learns a duck impression!

Oops! Sorry, that was a guess. Mr. Dayle is cutting, and your brain uses sugar to…brain. All of you look like food right now. Eat your bread, or you’ll write like Rickey. Or seek pain like Mr. Dayle. Or be nominated for the Union White House.

Back to Jim’s story.

Captain Hudson’s the worst! He treats the Davises like mascots of a traitor movement to preserve human bondage. That means “nerds.” His men steal everything Jeff loves. And then they take Jim!

The First Family fights for Jim. Not hard, or for long. But they make nice promises. Meanwhile, Jim goes on tour.

I know, homework stinks. But you should still start early, or, it’ll look like this page. Defending the president’s a big job! Especially drawing his non-slave’s back scars. Messing up might embarass you later. Lucky for Rickey and Judith, they only published this worldwide.

Still, we can learn from this. You’re ready for symbols. Jim’s shirt means loyalty to the gentleman race. How could he take it off? Jim’s scars mean tattling. Who does that? Together, they make one art. Even if Judith didn’t try. This is Mary holding Jesus, for a better cause.

Education.

It speaks for itself.

Now you know history’s secret: the Union forced black labor. Unpaid PR was Lincoln’s cornerstone. Can you imagine? Afterwards, gentlemen tried to help. They made separate but better playgrounds, new slave patrol uniforms, and Rock & Roll. But countless Jims never made it home, leaving a cultural scar. Now politics are weird and sad.

We’ve bullied gentlemen from the start, when some maids chose swimming over work. Talk about dramatic! Imagine if they’d picked friendship, like Jim Limber Davis. Or at least tried yellow suspenders. We’d have a nicer world. One where Jeff kept his smile.

Happy Fourth of July!

This article was brought to you by our fine sponsor and Hot Dog Supreme: Ozzie Olin, who understands that all people want to be free! Free to, just for example, ride a dirtbike through the mall. It’s a civil rights issue.

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LEARNING DAY

Learning Day: Tears Are Not Enough 🌭

Well i watched that We Are The World documentary bout when all the famous 80s singers saved the world with song and it was pretty good! My personal favorite part was when Bob Dylan didnt seem to know what they meant by “ad lib” and got scared and confused and so alone that he went a lil feral

but he knew what to do, he cried out for help

and Stevie goes to the piano and sings kinda like we all do when were making fun of bob dylan but with real talent and stuff to teach Bob, “Ad-lib means sing like this.”

and then Bob Dylan was happily ever after.

For real I think that’d be a pretty good kids book to teach us Its OK To Need Help Sometimes and its fine we’re not using AI anymore to make fake book covers, i feel pretty good about being able to make this one myself:

But for this article we’re not talkin about that special day in LA, we’re talkin about its kinda winter cousin. Let your eyes drift upwards and northwards on the map, let all your preconceptioned notions about glamour and fame fade and allow for a different, more authentic, more denim-clad version of entertainment superstardom to feel your minds eye. Yes, norther and norther still until you reach a special place called:

Yes it was one day durin my wikipedia wanderins I came across that, in edition to a British and American song what cured African hunger, they also did one in Canada and it was called Tears Are Not Enough by The Northern Lights.

It sorta feels like they knew we might start laughin at this prospect and so they put a starving child in there immediately to head that off and it almost works.

Here is a group photo of The NLs, you may want to apply sunglasses before scrolling down to protect your mortal eyes from the white hot aroara boreales of star power on display:

Yes i know, there was apparently also a pixel famine at the time, but don’t worry we’ll meet our different singin buds as we go, and also you may take a moment to watch it if you like. I viewed it myself and was pretty much blown away and I thought: man i furvently wish there was also a full-length documentary about the makin of this one and guess what the lord DOES answer prayers, in this case he answered it about 40 years before I prayed it which is kinda proof that time is a but a construct of man, Praise Him.

The documentary film is very special because, unlike the Los Angeles one, ALL of the footage was taken contemporanusly, the film was released just a few months after the song. What gives it just a extra good warm Labatt’s flavor is: all of the behind the scenes stuff are fake re-enactments, but its 80s fake re-enactments and really lovely bad filming and acting so its just very enjoyable to watch a canadian promoter do a not very good job of pretendin to yell and holler about how he NEEDS Gordon Lightfoot here tomorrow do you want those kids to die dammit!? Look, the camera crew even made a very artful decision to film it through the window for extra versilimitude:

Ok i fibbed a little bit hes actually shoutin “Anne Murray’s IN, Adams! ANNE MURRAY’S IN!” Which: was she anybody elses Gramma’s very favorite, or just mine? She’s so cute in this she knows the gravitas of the occasion demands full Canadian Glamour so she wears her very nicest large-gem sweatshirt.

Alright so this song project and documentary was both clearly headed up by a specific Canadian Man, a music producer named David Foster who takes up alot of space of the documentary. He shows us that he was pretty much the same as the Quincy Jones and Lionel Richie when they made We Are The World by showing us the footage of when he tied with Lionel Richie for winning a grammy:

Presented by twin siblings Sammy Hagar and holy shit it’s Anne Murray! So Foster there says he was inspired by both “Do They Know Its Christmas” and “We Are the World” and knew that it was crucial for Canada to do something just as important and impactful. wink.

Mr. Foster is very humble as he talks about himself for a long while and tells us he had a tough time sleeping the night before they got all the Canadian Musicians together because he knew if he didnt pull it off: “…kids would die.” He keeps inserting footage of himself really about every 30 secounds (canadian), and he got to eventually be a professional on-TV person.

Here he is pretending the documentary camera crew had the good fortune of capturin him in full John Tesh mode, composing the melody for “Tears are Not Enough” as he drove to work:

Even though he already kinda let on this isnt how it happened:

Its probably too much to pray for another documentary called “Incidentally Elmo’s”

Foster does seem like he is a actual musician and composer but that doesnt mean that his main purpose and true callin in life isnt just bein real good at takin credit for stuff, for example he talks about how it was real important he had the brilliant idea of puttin this sign over the door of the toronto studios where they got all the arctic rock’n’rollers together:

…without ever mentionin that perhaps a certain other superstar charity single recording session did something similar first:

Which yes thats funny how much more charm and personality Quincy Jones’ sign has, look at it, it could be the cover of like a Hall and Oates cassingle all by itself. But Im tryin to not be a hack here and not fall back on any of the “oh canada is so polite” stuff, so it doesn’t help when Foster goes and adds a superfluus ‘’please’’ to his. (Which the polite thing its a myth anyway, you should have seen how annoyed that homeless guy in montreal got when he had to switch to english to tell me where was the CVS.)

And also Foster explains how he was very smart that he knew that when all the singers got there they’d get all excited and giddy about all the famous people and so it was important to have a famine expert lady come in and do a speech sayin “Ok folks we’re having a good time here but dont forget its because KIDS ARE DYING RIGHT NOW CAUSE YOU DIDNT SAVE THEM WITH ENTERTAINMENT YET SO ARE WE GONNA CUT THE GRAB-ASSIN OR WHAT!?”

And yes, Quincy Jones also did that exact same thing first. And it works, doesn’t it? We know how it feels, don’t we, from when it happened to us just a few paragraphs ago? That’s right: pretty bad.

ALSO theres this really weird part in Foster’s wikipedia page:

Well, speaking of stories you might tell the cops if a certain music producer put you on the phone with his lawyer immediately after he hit you with his car, let’s See Some Stars! Here I’ll introduce them to you and just in case some of you are so parochial that you dont know canada very well i’ll pair them with their Souther American counterpart. Here at the most important first line of the song we have:

Alright that seems possibly acquivalent, Im guessin most of us have maybe a few older generation relatives who liked both Lionel Richie and Gordon Lightfoot about the same?

And then of course we know who’s second is:

And you can probably see right away we’re already in trouble because who is that? Ive looked him up like 8 times and i still think his name is Bud Molson. He does sing like a bird though and somehow does a pretty deadly accurate Rodney Dangerfield impersonation.

Alright whos next whos next:

Ok so Tina and Billy of course we love them so and then whoa- is that guy making fun of Canadians!? That is just ignernt and insensitive. You do know who that is actually, he sang the WOR! KIN! FOR! DA! WEE! KEND! song they play on the drive home radio every friday (even though i dont think that feeling of weekend-freedom is actually consistent with the message of the lyrics, but thats fine, I understand its about the energy as opposed to the litral text.) His name is Mike Reno, which is a excellent noir-detective name, and he also does a lot of weird impressions and bits. Actually ALOT of Canadians here seem to have a complicated relationship with there slice of fame and it’s like they need to show that they ain’t too fancy by kinda retreating into doin a dumbass-country-guy bit all the time. Hm.

Yes that is very harmful actually he is settin back his countrymen by decades with that.

Anyway, show me MORE STARS!

These ones its kinda interesting right? Like it’s not crazy to think of Joni Mitchell and Neil Young bein in kinda the same fame range as Huey Lewis and Cindy Lauper? Oh my god I just noticed Geddy Lee’s in that clip! It is a sign of how magical this film is that we dont even have time to talk about how Geddy Lee is in this. Anyway it’s actually the case that both Neil and Joni had NOT been in canada for decades: theres a pretty embarrassing part where Joni tries to show she remembers ANYTHING about the frozen land of her birth and finally says: “The Landscape.” But lets give her some slack:

IF you consider the subject matter, then yes it is.

Neil Young has his moment too:

And then, you knew it was comin. At last: The atom bomb:

Hell yes honestly. But look at this: when I was doing my ansalary research for this one I came across this bit on Bryan’s Wikipedia:

Which I feel like there’s a whole podcast series you could do about that. Like episodes 1-3 are that’s very very interesting if true and episodes 4-6 are about even if it isn’t true how that is still very very interesting that that fact would get into the Wikipedia. In a way that teaches us about the complexities of modern society, I mean.

Anyway, you guys? We did it.

But for MUCH MUCH longer. WAAAAAY longer than patreon will let you make gifs. Just sea after shining sea of pre-Carey-and-Twain famous Canadian Faces. Look how Paul Shaffer beams for you. And even though it took so much work and most of a afternoun (canadian), it really was worth it:

WE HAVE TOUCHDOWN OF HARDY ALBERTA WHEAT ON AFRICAN SOIL!! DEHYDRATED POUTINE IS INBOUND!!

Whew what a humanity miracle. Proving for once and for all that THE DOMINION OF CANADA IS SECOND TO NO COUNTR-

(canadian)

In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

This article was brought to you by our fine sponsor and Hot Dog Supreme: Neil Schafer, who is to Canada what David Hasselhoff is to Germany. A source of much regret.

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LEARNING DAY

Learning Day: I Hate You!

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