Category: PODCASTING DAY

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Out of DEATH 🌭

Happy Podcasting Day! This week we welcome — you’ll never believe we got him! — Jason Pargin to the podcast! Author Jason Pargin. Novelist Jason Pargin. Book-doer Jason Pargin! Substackist Jason Pargin! He wrote the incredible Zoey Punches The Future in the Dick, as well as a bunch of other incredible books with almost as good titles. On today’s podcast, we’re discussing Bruce Willis, specifically modern-day Bruce Willis, specifically why you can pay modern-day Bruce Willis a million dollars a day and it’s not enough for him to give a shit. What is the give a shit price, Bruce? Is it two million a day? Four? Just do movies that pay that! We’re mostly talking about his laziest movie yet-

Remember to love us on everything, and tell your parents about it. 

And for anyone who wants to sing along with Seanbaby’s heartfelt custom theme song, here are the heartfelt lyrics:

♪ Unbroken on trains, I was John McClane
of the men standing I was the last

Look Who’s Talking Too, Seagram’s Golden Wine cool
Korben Dallas Multipass

But what’s going on, with my choices since I
went to space to drill a rock

Remember Last Boyscout, and also Moonlighting
wait, also goddamn Hudson Hawk
fucking Hudson Hawk

Now I’m all out of death, I’m on siege hard kill you
I know target die, Cosmic Sin zombie threshold

I’m all out of death, fire breach horizon
co-starring Ja Rule, a dumb soup of action words

now I just show up, and sit on a chair
even when we film the fights
I look like a dick, what agent booked this shit
I could reboot Miami Vice
or say let’s do Die Hard, in Bora Bora
Or Wes Anderson’s MacBeth
I’m the biggest star, drive Steve McQueen’s car
now i’m some guy in Out of Death
it’s called Out of Death

I’m all out of death, I’m Kevin Sorbo saves Christmas
I’m darkstalker 4, I’m vampire speedboat
I’m all out of death, I’m a leprechaun prequel
I’m corporate retreat with special guest star me. ♪

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Ultimate Fighting Championship 3, with Eddie Doty! 🌭

Today, the Dogg Zzone 9000 is zzoning at you in the best way– violently and incoherently! Brockway and I welcome back Eddie Doty to discuss a hilarious night of sports broadcasting disasters: 1994’s Ultimate Fighting Championship 3: The American Dream. Listen here! And leave a review. And subscribe. I mean, come on. Because like UFC 3 competitor Harold Howard put it…

Podcast Footnotes:

This was the early days of MMA and the martial arts world was still wrapping its head around the bizarre neck-grabbery of Royce Gracie and his fighting style of Brazilian jiu jitsu. But one karate enthusiast and future casino maniac from Niagara Falls thought he had the answer. I can’t remember exactly how Harold Howard put it, but his plan was t–

Right, “the Kadate aspect back into jiu-jitsu,” of course. Unfortunately, after being savaged by a Christian lunatic, Royce Gracie could barely walk and had to throw in the towel before his semi-final match against Harold. Which means Harold won! But oh no, grrrr, he’d never get a chance to test his Canadian Strip Mall Karate against Gracie Jiu Jitsu! These two contradictory reactions raged against each other in Harold’s manager to create this perfect emotional whiplash… this amazing moment in MMA history which I’ve now mentioned twice on the podcast:

Many more injuries turned it into a night of broken hands and broken dreams except for one ninja cop, who came in as an alternate to compete in the finals. In his first fight, he got a chance at the grandest prize in all of No-Holds-Barred-Except-A-Few Combat against Harold Howard, a third grader who made a wish to trade bodies with a clumsy local meth dealer who would go on to have a 0-41 fighting career against the Royal Mounted Police.

I’m not going to show you the ending of that glorious fight, but I will show you the beginning:

And, okay, here’s the ending:

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Expository Theme Songs with Zak Koonce! 🌭

Happy Podcasting Day! This week’s podcast is all about expository theme songs that-

Wait, what the fuck am I doing? This is clearly wrong. Let me try again-

Now this week’s podcast is all about how

Zak Koonce rolled up and asked if we were down

To rap about songs about the movies they’re in

So we said “FUCK YEAH,” but where to begin?

Wicky Wicky Wild Wild West made your day

It’s the quickest lip in town, says Brockway

T.U.R.T.L.E. Power is sure to please

Just ask any available Seanbabies

Now City of Crime

Is a hell of a time

Brought to you by ya boy Zak Koonce

Packin’ flow by the pound and rhyme by the ou…

Flowin’ like rivers, spittin’ like monsoo…

He

FUCK

Here’s the broadcast

Of a lovely podcast

Featuring three very lovely boys

All of them brought songs

About their movies

To make a joyous noise

We’re talking raps

That do the recaps

Of the very movies you watch them in

Just like Feel the Impact

From that movie

Where Van Damme bangs his twin

So today you’ll listen to this great episode

And tell all your friends, in prose so purple

That they should like, subscribe, review

Then you’ll finally feel like you…

You’ll get all the praise you…

You

FUCK

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: No Right Answers with Karen Chu! 🌭

In the great tradition of The Dogg Zzone 9000, we invite an esteemed guest onto the podcast to participate in one of Seanbaby’s completely untested games of loose rules and looser hosts. In this episode, Good Job Brain‘s Karen Chu subjects herself to No Right Answers: Championship Edition, a “trivia” quiz show which is two parts Family Feud, one part Jeopardy!, and seven parts Conan the Barbarian’s defense attorney.

Listen here or on your favorite podcast whatever.

It’s a brutal clash of opinions and wit as Brockway bravely goes head-to-head against the cosplay marathoner who women.com called “Bay Area Quiz Queen.” Does he win? Listen and find out, but no! Does he lose like a gentleman? Listen and find out, but not even close! If you’ve already read about their battle in Women’s Podcast Quiz Games Gazette this episode has all the explosive quiz gaming they couldn’t show you!

And finally, our fantastic and frankly overjoked Hot Dog Hero patrons or better can enjoy the bonus podcast where Karen and Brockway face off in a second game to determine, once and for all, our greatest American. Spoiler: It’s Good Job Brain‘s Karen Chu! Listen on our Patreon or Discord, and don’t forget to subscribe and review!

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: The Ninja Podcast Podcast, with Jason Pargin 🌭

On this very special Podcasting Day, we’re getting sued! And also poisoned! 

We continue our tradition of inviting the hilarious and insightful author Jason Pargin to discuss things that harm and upset him. He writes fun and brilliant novels called things like Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, and all he wants to do is talk about something goofy and lighthearted with his friends. 

So we brought him on for an episode about delusional liars featuring Frank Dux, the most thin-skinned conman in the martial arts scene and voted most likely to litigate a nickname in his high school yearbook!

We told Jason we’d make it up to him, and the next one he does will be a wacky episode about buddy chimp movies (it’s actually about the criminal mistreatment of animals behind the scenes of your favorite films!)

This all started on our Discord thanks to a tip from Mr. Penguin Man, just to fold another defendant into the case, who told us several ridiculous things in escalating succession: People still pretend to be ninjas in the modern day, those people organize online, that organization started a podcast about ninjutsu, and they brought on Frank Dux, the man who lied Bloodsport into existence, because he also claims to be a ninja! 

It seems crazy, even for us, to do a podcast episode about another podcast episode, but you never know the form cursed media will take. This hour long interview conducted BY a ninja TO a bloodsport deserves to stand with the kinkiest anime Brockway can find, or the saddest sex tips in Seanbaby’s library. You better listen to it quick, before the takedown notice from concerned Bloodsport super fan Mr. Drank Fux!

Our patrons at Hot Dog Hero level or above get access to a 40-minute(!) bonus podcast where Jason Pargin does his god damnedest to ride a bear to the club like some kinda bigshot druid! 

Remember to subscribe to the Dogg Zzone 9000 so you get these hot illegal podcasts before the cops find ‘em, and please leave us a review so they can use you as evidence that we knew what we were doing!

KUMITE! KUMITE! KUMITE!

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Conan the Podcast, Part 3 – Red Sonja 🌭

For the third and final installment of our Conan Podcast Trilogy, Lydia Bugg looks upon 1985’s Red Sonja for the very first time. Will her young eyes ship it, or merely stan it? Will she notice it’s all the same people from the last movies with new names and costumes? Will she appreciate the bravery of the filmmakers in dedicating 70% of their feature blockbuster to a robot wrestling match in a pool? Will she be shocked by Seanbaby’s endless barrage of fun Conan facts? Like how Arnold Schwarzenegger and Brigitte Nielsen were fu–

We talk about all the many events that take up the film, like the unforgettable water brawl against a robot! Listen here or wherever you get podcasts!

From the costumes to the sets, we dive deep into this tale of Hyborian vengeance featuring sort of Conan fighting a robot in a pool! By Crom, we command you to review and subscribe!

This was a movie with so many memorable sequences that it lost 8 figures and made an entire genre of film unviable!

With standout performances by 12-year-old Ernie Reyes Jr. and most of the Nazis from Raiders of the Lost Ark, it’s a true classic. It even features a brief battle with a robot in a pool!

Fun behind-the-scenes fact: Arnold was tricked into starring in this movie, and at one point he fights against a robot in a pool!

We even discuss the brief moment when the horny and noble Kalidor takes on a pool robot!

Blink and you’ll miss it! Pool robot! Some poor designer spent all that time working on a functional mechanical eel which only appears on-screen for 210 minutes.

We also do a bonus podcast for our Patreon supporters where Brockway and Liddy face off in the Hyborian game of justice and vengeance known as Seanbaby’s Book Game! It’s more fun than Falkon punching up a bone massacre with a hilarious one-liner!