Today, the Dogg Zzone 9000 is zzoning at you in the best way– violently and incoherently! Brockway and I welcome back Eddie Doty to discuss a hilarious night of sports broadcasting disasters: 1994’s Ultimate Fighting Championship 3: The American Dream. Listen here! And leave a review. And subscribe. I mean, come on. Because like UFC 3 competitor Harold Howard put it…
This was the early days of MMA and the martial arts world was still wrapping its head around the bizarre neck-grabbery of Royce Gracie and his fighting style of Brazilian jiu jitsu. But one karate enthusiast and future casino maniac from Niagara Falls thought he had the answer. I can’t remember exactly how Harold Howard put it, but his plan was t–
Right, “the Kadate aspect back into jiu-jitsu,” of course. Unfortunately, after being savaged by a Christian lunatic, Royce Gracie could barely walk and had to throw in the towel before his semi-final match against Harold. Which means Harold won! But oh no, grrrr, he’d never get a chance to test his Canadian Strip Mall Karate against Gracie Jiu Jitsu! These two contradictory reactions raged against each other in Harold’s manager to create this perfect emotional whiplash… this amazing moment in MMA history which I’ve now mentioned twice on the podcast:
Many more injuries turned it into a night of broken hands and broken dreams except for one ninja cop, who came in as an alternate to compete in the finals. In his first fight, he got a chance at the grandest prize in all of No-Holds-Barred-Except-A-Few Combat against Harold Howard, a third grader who made a wish to trade bodies with a clumsy local meth dealer who would go on to have a 0-41 fighting career against the Royal Mounted Police.
I’m not going to show you the ending of that glorious fight, but I will show you the beginning:
And, okay, here’s the ending: