Category: PODCASTING DAY

Categories
PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: UFC 1 Was a Magical Shitstorm 🌭

This week on the Dogg Zzone 9000, we go back to 1993 to discuss the dumbest commercial for a jiu jitsu school ever filmed which also ended up being the most important night for martial arts in the history of the world: Ultimate Fighting Championship 1: The Beginning.

Listen here or wherever you podcast.

This show we welcome back our old friend, Zak Koonce, producer of our podcast’s untouchable theme song and accomplished Ground Karate grab-puncher to discuss this bloody battle between 8 warriors, 6 of which had no idea what the fuck was going on. And speaking of not knowing what was going on, while UFC 1 was one of Zak and Sean’s most defining things, Brockway had never seen it before. So he learned 28 years too late that using the style of Sumo to run straight into your enemy with furious slaps doesn’t work.

Besides the fascinating changes in the martial arts landscape that happened before our eyes that night and how they’ve evolved from there, we also talk about the complete shit show of the production. The announce team, especially Bill “Superfoot” Wallace, had no idea how to say words or describe violence. The referee didn’t know what these maniacs were or were not allowed to do and didn’t even want to make a guess about what makes a fight “over.” Plus, the guy he asked for rule clarifications was the big brother of one of the competitors. It is objectively the stupidest shit and it can’t be overstated how much it instantly changed the lives and careers of millions of people.

And for clarity, the part of the show where Sean is laughing too hard to talk, he’s trying to describe the moment Bill Wallace fucked up the name of the event, the name of both fighters, the pronunciation of each of their fighting styles, and then threw to his broadcast partner, Rich “The G-Man” Goins, with this:

It’s a night of confused boxers, winded men, missing teeth, and a few more Nazi salutes than we expected!

Like us on subscribe! Ground us on Poundus! Hot Dog patrons can listen to the bonus podcast on our Discord or Patreon where Zak and Brockway trade recipes from an unthinkable semen cook book. And we, of course, leave you with this: tournament champion Royce Gracie’s UFC 1 headshot.

Categories
PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Japanese Battle Comedy, with Lydia Bugg! 🌭

Brockway often makes suggestions that don’t make a lot of sense at first. For instance, “Let’s change our name to Shimmy Jim and the Hustlers,” or “Corporate saxophone fighting,” or “Shut the shit up, we do a Face/Off.” But when he suggested we watch a 2016 game show about ten Japanese comedians locked in a room and trying not to laugh with no rules or structure, I said, “Oh fuck yeah saxophone fighting. And also let’s do the Japanese thing.”

So this Podcasting Day, the Dogg Zzone 9000 team is joined by our own Lydia Bugg to discuss the first season of the 2016 show, Hitoshi Matumoto’s Documental. 

Listen here or wherever you get your podcasts! Click and engage all the buttons that algorithms love!

Like at least one other show, Documental is an unknown treasure hidden deep in the limitless bowels of Amazon Prime’s catalog. Or maybe it’s not? We think it might be a show only for comedy nerds. Or maybe for 11-year-olds. They have no idea either. It’s dick jokes and endurance gags limply offered by people who seem as confused about what’s going on as any audience from any culture. They had to pay $10,000 to be there! It’s screaming men putting on dresses and digging through each other’s assholes to see if maybe this is where comedy is found?

We definitely don’t figure it out, but we all agree it’s something. And if you want something way more American, Hot Dog Hero patrons and meatier can listen to the Extra Wiener bonus podcast where Brockway and Liddy match pickup lines in a very seductive Seanbaby’s Book Game! Can they out-creep the suggestions from 100 BEST OPENING LINES! by Eric Weber, the incompetent virgin author of How to Pick Up Girls?

Spoiler alert: nothing is creepier than incompetent virgin author Eric Weber. If scientists start growing human breast tissue on the backs of tarantulas, the first words those tarantulas say will be less creepy than Eric Weber’s tips for harassing lady pedestrians. Please enjoy, and from everyone here at Shimmy Jim and the Hustlers… keep on hustlin’.

Categories
PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Bloodsport, with Maggie Mae Fish 🌭

This Podcasting Day we’re doing it. We’re finally doing it! We’re just going to talk about Bloodsport the whole time! 

And you won’t believe this: We found the absolute perfect guest for this joyous day. She’s smart, she’s funny, she knows movies, and she had never seen Bloodsport!

Holy shit! She wasn’t technically human before this. She couldn’t even vote! But now she’s seen Bloodsport, so she’s finally a real person – she’s Maggie Mae Fish!

Bloodsport is the perfect movie, so if you’re coming into this expecting film criticism we’re going to squeeze you like a little monkey man until your spine cracks. This is an hour and a half of Bloodsport love so raw and non-homogenized you can’t sell it in the United States. 

Seanbaby came into this podcast with 3700 words of notes on things he wanted to talk about in Bloodsport. We fucking got through them all! 

If there is a more definitive dissection of Bloodsport and its dominating role in modern cinema, tell us who. Tell us who did it. Tell us who the motherfuckers are and we will defeat them in kumite. Seanbaby holds the world record for fastest groinkick with knockout (146dB) and Brockway holds the World Teen Kumite Record for Most Consecutive Non-Shows (56). 

This podcast is everything you could have ever asked for us and more – even the bonus episode is something special. It’s coming later this week. You god damn better listen wherever you get podcasts, then like and give us a pec-wiggling review – if you’re struggling for ideas, just talk about how great our butts look when we do the splits. (Pretty great.)

Categories
PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: The Man vs. The People of Comedy, with Jason Pargin 🌭

Joining us this week is friend of The 🌭 Zzone and beloved author of Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, Jason Pargin! He, Brockway, and I (Seanbaby) share stories about how easy it is to bully cowardly publishers into taking articles down, and we’re trusting the world to use this knowledge only for good.

Listen here! Or wherever you get podcasts! Review and like! Buy Jason’s book!

And speaking of both buying things and copyright strikes, be sure to visit our online store to get a new-and-improved NOT Popsicle Pete. With brand new art by Rusty Shackles!

Our first version was taken off the store from what we thought was a trademark violation, which was strange because no company claims any ownership over this unliving parade leader of limitless cosmic suffering. How could they? How mirthlessly silly would Pete find such hubris to be? As you may know, the word we often use as a generic term for “flavored ice pop” is aggressively trademarked, but if that wasn’t it, why did they take it down?

Can you solve the mystery!?

You’re right! It turns out when Popsicle Pete became a top seller, some world wide web e-shirt executive noticed it and said, “That print is low quality.” So it wasn’t a copyright strike (yet). They just didn’t think the scan I made of a two inch misaligned print of a murder puppet from a bleeding 1949 comic then blew up to the size of a human chest looked very nice. So we paid Rusty to draw us a new one and then I made him look all fucked up in a hopefully more “intentional” way.

If you bought an original, congratulations! It’s a collector’s item– wear it carefully! And maybe buy this new, replaceable one for any knife fights or sexy car washes you’re attending. We’re also pulling some designs next week: Teamworking Dog, Punching Dog (all versions), Reading is Fucking Crazy, and Meatloaf problem are all going away. This is your last chance to get them! Okay, enjoy the podcast!

Categories
PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: The Great Cosby Hunt 🌭

Happy Podcasting Day! A few weeks ago we called you all cowards who wouldn’t dare listen to a long and terrible podcast…

And you guys loved it! 

So we did it again.

That’s how it works. If you tell us you like to be tortured, we’re going to torture you. It’s more about customer service than it is sadomasochism, but it’s definitely both.

This time around the bubbly and upbeat Lydia Bugg is joining us to discuss how you can track the many sex crimes of Bill Cosby through his bibliography of subpar books. She doesn’t deserve this. You should be mad at us for doing this to her!

We don’t even know where to go from here, if you guys like this one. Analyze the comedic structure of the Armenian genocide? Make jokes about transcripts from the 9/11 planes? Track the warning signs for the John Wayne Gacy murders using only his unpublished amateur comic strips about a wacky cat who wears themed helmets?

This isn’t sustainable. You need to stop us. You have to tell us to knock it off and get back to making dick jokes about golden-age Spiderman or we are going to spiral into the void fuck fuck we are begging you to be our anchor we are drifting. Much like Bill Cosby, we are leaving you elaborate clues through our collected works because we can’t believe you haven’t caught us by now.

Don’t listen to this podcast wherever you get podcasts, and for fuck’s sake do not subscribe to and review it.

This is your fault. 

This is all your fault, we’re putting it on you. 

Much like Bill Cosby in both his book crimes and actual crimes, we accept no responsibility for our actions, and are sorely disappointed in your lackluster efforts to apprehend us. 

Categories
PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: The Sound of a Man Yelling Mortal Kombat 🌭

To speak on the subject of Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, and Mortal Kombat, The Dogg Zzone 9000 welcomes back the musical genius behind our theme song and one half of Auralnauts: Zak Koonce!

Listen here, or wherever you get your podcasts! Like and Review us on Subscribe! Finish us on Outworld!