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Hot Dog Store: 8-Bit Hot Dogs plus What’s in the Vault??

This ain’t some two-bit shirt, this here is all eight…

Assorted weights and torments.

This week let’s take it back to halcyon days, back when things were super chill. You’d wake up at 10, skateboard down to the arcade, pop a few quarters in the machine, and Zeus would kill your husband while he was at sea.

You know what I’m talking about. That’s right, 8-Bit Hot Dogs! Look at them all in their little pixel glory. Wonderful. And you can even buy player 1 and player 2 versions of the shirt in blue and red. I’m sure there are other colors too, but c’mon, classic red vs blue.

And for those cold mornings when you hurl yourself into the sea to be with your dead husband again, we’ve got that hoodie!

It’s available in five colors, but I suggest the light blue option, because it really brings out the color in my eyes. Pick one up and see if it does the same for you!

HALT

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What awaits you in the vault this week? Let’s pop on those PoxCo X-Ray Specs and find out! If you get a headache or brain bleed, it just means the X-Rays are working!

Could it be? Are the legends true?

It is! It’s all true! Back in the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, we made this fuckin’ shirt, and it’s available in the PoxCo Vaults right now in nine different colors.

Make sure you are logged into the site with your patreon account to view all the items in the vault, and hop on the discord if you have a suggestion for something you’d like to see!

That’s it this week, who knows what I’ll have for you next time.

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Hot Dog Store: Sgt. Bigfeet’s Lonely AIMS Team Band

Featuring the hit single “Wild Bill in the Tree with Chainsaws.”

NEW MERCH TIME! This week we have one hell of an image to show you. You need to click through to see this thing in all of its glory, these little preview images don’t do it justice.

You can get an idea, sure, but trust me, click on this link right here that I am typing and now have typed and you have read and are getting ready to click on no go back stop reading the sentence go click on it and then come back and finish reading the sentence about our ultra comfy women’s cut shirts. Ok did you do that? Great! Did you see how jam-packed the image on the shirt is? WILD, RIGHT?

Again, you are gonna have to trust me, if you didn’t click through last time, take this time to visit the page for our classic cut shirts and really look at the picture on it. It’s got at least one Shaq!

And you know we have it available as a premium print 18”x24” poster, because this beauty is art, and everyone who visits your house should know what you are into. Heck, buy it for a friend and put it up in their house so they have to look at it every day. Figure out a way to make one of those HALO ring planet things or like that movie with matt damon and he was all angry and they had health care or something, Downsizing? I don’t know. Anyway, first person to do that and get the ring to go around the entire planet and have it show the poster to everyone on earth gets a free candy bar, and probably a shirt.

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Hot Dog Store: Seanbabies Tidbits

Please ensure you have adequate receptacles for cute puns and hunky buns.

Look at those little guys, just having the time of their lives.

These came out a few weeks ago, but I’m not sure everyone saw them the first time. I haven’t seen a single mention of it in Milan yet, but you know how it goes in Italy. So once again, women’s style cut shirts available right now in our shop for you to buy, today.

You need the classic style shirt? Check this out

It’s real, baby! And it is available right now! Our classic style shirt that you know and love, now with all the SEANBABIES on it. I don’t know if I am supposed to type it in all caps, but that’s how it looks from here so SEANBABIES it is!

I can think of 1000 ways to have fun wearing one of our awesome tank tops. I bet if I had this, I could think of at least one more.

Oh, wait, just thought of one!

Getting this incredible illustration on one of our super cool thick paper prints! You get 24 by 36 full inches of TIDBITS fun, anywhere you decide to put it!

In Vault news: smuggle a lil’ Jimmy Jiggles into work. It’s a felony.

This bad boy is only available in the vault. I tried to ask AI to write a paragraph here to explain how the shirt feels and give you the details but I think it broke

Anyway, this guy got one, and we haven’t heard from him for almost two weeks! He must be very happy with his purchase and is probably totally fine.

Look at that glowing review! Incredible. If you also want clothing that does not immediately set on fire when worn, be sure to poke around in the vaults. I’m not gonna link it because it’s a vault, you gotta open it yourself!

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Hot Dog Store: Crisis On Infinite Berks and HUNK WEEK

This is how we cap off HUNK WEEK, by bringing you the classic: Crisis On Infinite Berks.

Now, as you all know, this shirt comes in 9 different colors. Here it is in Heather Orange:

Not only do we have it on a shirt, we also have it on a poster!

This beauty comes in at a lovely 20” x 30” and is on super high quality Japanese paper. I know you love that stuff, and that’s why we take care of you.

Look, here is a dog next to one, and the dog couldn’t be happier.

But that’s old news. You’ve seen that shirt, you’ve seen that poster, you better have purchased both.

I’m here to let you in on a little secret. Something from the vaults. Oh, not sure what the vaults are? It’s just a little something Brockway put together for Patreons at our $20 tier. An exclusive at-cost store, the PoxCo Vaults. All of our retired designs, our limited run shirts, our milestone celebration art – it all lives here forever, for you, at the cheapest price we can list.

So, if you are at that tier, log in and view the shop and you’ll see it.

If you aren’t at that tier, put on these PoxCo X-Ray Specs.

Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff. Our hunks celebrate the only way they know: Buns out. And now you can have them all together on one shirt at a stupid low price. We have seven different color options to choose from, each hand-selected by our hunkiest fashionista, Brockway.

There are all kinds of magical wonders in the vaults, so be sure to check them out.

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Hot Dog Store: Hot Dogs vs. Lava Apes

Hot damn, the boys are up against the Lava Apes!

No better way to start the month than by bringing this one back out of the vaults. It’s just too good to be locked away.

This hot dog victory is immortalized on a shirt, available in three colors, so you can proudly show the world that you’ll never forget that fateful day. Our shirts are made from soft, high-quality Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, with Heather colors getting a touch of polyester for that perfect blend. They’re lightweight but not flimsy, coming in at 4.2 oz./yd², and they’re pre-shrunk, so they won’t suddenly betray you after the first wash. The side-seamed construction and shoulder-to-shoulder taping make sure they fit well and stay comfortable, no matter how many times you wear them.

And if your home-built shrine needs that extra touch of glory, we’ve got you covered with a 24”x36” poster printed on that ridiculously thick Japanese paper I always bring up. At 10.3 mil thick and 189 g/m², it’s got just the right weight and texture to feel substantial without being overkill. The print is crisp, the colors are vibrant, and with 94% opacity, it’s going to look sharp no matter where you hang it. Why go through all the trouble to get it printed on this paper? Because if you’re going to commemorate the ancient battle, only the best will do.

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Hot Dog Store: Catalog of Cursed Artifacts and more

Do you find it hard trying to explain what goes on here to the people in your life? Let’s make it a little bit easier for you with our CATALOG OF CURSED ARTIFACTS!

Oh yeah, that thing is beautiful.

We have our Catalog of Cursed Artifacts available as a nice 16”x20” poster. Not the whole thing, just the front. But that should be more than enough to distract the people in your home as you corner them, explaining in an unstopping breathless torrent of words, spittle, and wild gesticulations exactly why Bernarr Macfadden’s legal mating contract lead the groundwork for the events that would lead to Perry using his real baby muscles to fight real adult snitches.

How else are you going to learn to talk to people?

Maybe you want to take your show on the road though, walking through the streets pointing at your cool women’s style cut shirt with the Catalog of Cursed Artifacts right there on it. “Listen to me, there is this book about having sex in the afterlife, it is not fiction.” you’ll say, and people will stop and hear to your words because your shirt intrigues them and makes them look to you as a keeper of cursed knowledge.

The shirt also comes in 12 different colors.

And if you want it in a classic cut, we can get that to you, too. You can wear it in court while you try to explain sissyneck and the Kitty Kama Sutra. It’ll save a lot of time, and you probably won’t even need a lawyer!

IN OTHER NEWS:

Our first PoxCo Vaults Exclusive shirt is now available! What’re the PoxCo Vaults you ask?

Well, Brockway outlined it a bit here in his post, but I totally understand if you only read the store posts and missed it.

The $20 Patreon supporters will “get an exclusive at-cost store, the PoxCo Vaults. All of our retired designs, our limited run shirts, our milestone celebration art – it all lives here forever, for you, at the cheapest price we can list. We make no money off of these sales, and therefore take no liability for what happens to you when you wear these things in public. This store will also update monthly with new designs too insider, too weird, or too vile for mass market appeal. Just like you!”

If you should have access, but can’t seem to see the Vaults, log in on an article and then explore the shop. You’ll find it.

Anyway, yeah, our first exclusive shirt! If you can buy this shirt, you already know what it is, and I’m not going to explain it!

Also due to printing errors, some shirts may have a fatal deviation.

11 Different color options on 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester), the same quality you know and love from all of our other shirts. So go check out the vaults, read Brockway’s article, buy a shirt, and learn what new Discord abilities you have.