Category: Store

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Hot Dog Store: Crisis On Infinite Berks and HUNK WEEK

This is how we cap off HUNK WEEK, by bringing you the classic: Crisis On Infinite Berks.

Now, as you all know, this shirt comes in 9 different colors. Here it is in Heather Orange:

Not only do we have it on a shirt, we also have it on a poster!

This beauty comes in at a lovely 20” x 30” and is on super high quality Japanese paper. I know you love that stuff, and that’s why we take care of you.

Look, here is a dog next to one, and the dog couldn’t be happier.

But that’s old news. You’ve seen that shirt, you’ve seen that poster, you better have purchased both.

I’m here to let you in on a little secret. Something from the vaults. Oh, not sure what the vaults are? It’s just a little something Brockway put together for Patreons at our $20 tier. An exclusive at-cost store, the PoxCo Vaults. All of our retired designs, our limited run shirts, our milestone celebration art – it all lives here forever, for you, at the cheapest price we can list.

So, if you are at that tier, log in and view the shop and you’ll see it.

If you aren’t at that tier, put on these PoxCo X-Ray Specs.

Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff. Our hunks celebrate the only way they know: Buns out. And now you can have them all together on one shirt at a stupid low price. We have seven different color options to choose from, each hand-selected by our hunkiest fashionista, Brockway.

There are all kinds of magical wonders in the vaults, so be sure to check them out.

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Hot Dog Store: Hot Dogs vs. Lava Apes

Hot damn, the boys are up against the Lava Apes!

No better way to start the month than by bringing this one back out of the vaults. It’s just too good to be locked away.

This hot dog victory is immortalized on a shirt, available in three colors, so you can proudly show the world that you’ll never forget that fateful day. Our shirts are made from soft, high-quality Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, with Heather colors getting a touch of polyester for that perfect blend. They’re lightweight but not flimsy, coming in at 4.2 oz./yd², and they’re pre-shrunk, so they won’t suddenly betray you after the first wash. The side-seamed construction and shoulder-to-shoulder taping make sure they fit well and stay comfortable, no matter how many times you wear them.

And if your home-built shrine needs that extra touch of glory, we’ve got you covered with a 24”x36” poster printed on that ridiculously thick Japanese paper I always bring up. At 10.3 mil thick and 189 g/m², it’s got just the right weight and texture to feel substantial without being overkill. The print is crisp, the colors are vibrant, and with 94% opacity, it’s going to look sharp no matter where you hang it. Why go through all the trouble to get it printed on this paper? Because if you’re going to commemorate the ancient battle, only the best will do.

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Hot Dog Store: Catalog of Cursed Artifacts and more

Do you find it hard trying to explain what goes on here to the people in your life? Let’s make it a little bit easier for you with our CATALOG OF CURSED ARTIFACTS!

Oh yeah, that thing is beautiful.

We have our Catalog of Cursed Artifacts available as a nice 16”x20” poster. Not the whole thing, just the front. But that should be more than enough to distract the people in your home as you corner them, explaining in an unstopping breathless torrent of words, spittle, and wild gesticulations exactly why Bernarr Macfadden’s legal mating contract lead the groundwork for the events that would lead to Perry using his real baby muscles to fight real adult snitches.

How else are you going to learn to talk to people?

Maybe you want to take your show on the road though, walking through the streets pointing at your cool women’s style cut shirt with the Catalog of Cursed Artifacts right there on it. “Listen to me, there is this book about having sex in the afterlife, it is not fiction.” you’ll say, and people will stop and hear to your words because your shirt intrigues them and makes them look to you as a keeper of cursed knowledge.

The shirt also comes in 12 different colors.

And if you want it in a classic cut, we can get that to you, too. You can wear it in court while you try to explain sissyneck and the Kitty Kama Sutra. It’ll save a lot of time, and you probably won’t even need a lawyer!

IN OTHER NEWS:

Our first PoxCo Vaults Exclusive shirt is now available! What’re the PoxCo Vaults you ask?

Well, Brockway outlined it a bit here in his post, but I totally understand if you only read the store posts and missed it.

The $20 Patreon supporters will “get an exclusive at-cost store, the PoxCo Vaults. All of our retired designs, our limited run shirts, our milestone celebration art – it all lives here forever, for you, at the cheapest price we can list. We make no money off of these sales, and therefore take no liability for what happens to you when you wear these things in public. This store will also update monthly with new designs too insider, too weird, or too vile for mass market appeal. Just like you!”

If you should have access, but can’t seem to see the Vaults, log in on an article and then explore the shop. You’ll find it.

Anyway, yeah, our first exclusive shirt! If you can buy this shirt, you already know what it is, and I’m not going to explain it!

Also due to printing errors, some shirts may have a fatal deviation.

11 Different color options on 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester), the same quality you know and love from all of our other shirts. So go check out the vaults, read Brockway’s article, buy a shirt, and learn what new Discord abilities you have.

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Hot Dog Store: Year 2 Dogg Cru

Wow, hard to believe it’s been 38 years already. But I want to take you back a bit, back to a very special moment. A simpler time, one where all you needed was a motorcycle, a harpoon gun, and a sick ass tattoo of a hot dog. That’s right, today we are celebrating the Year 2 Dogg Cru.

Own a piece of momentous history in three different styles available in our shop, right now.

Our classic shirt is available for you in red, white, and athletic heather. Solid colors are 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, and the Heather color contains polyester. It’s pre-shrunk, and super comfy.

Come on, what else are you going to spend that money on, MORE cheezy ranch?

You have enough cheezy ranch at home. What you don’t have is a shirt commemorating the year 2 dogg cru, and you can fix that very easily.

C’mon, make the right choice.

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Hot Dog Store: NEW ITEM ALERT! SPOILER: IT RULES!

Please ensure you have adequate receptacles for cute puns and hunky buns.

Are you ready?

WHAAAAT? NO WAY!

Yes way. Boom, women’s style cut shirts available right now in our shop for you to buy, today.

You need the classic style shirt? Check this out

It’s real, baby! And it is available right now! Our classic style shirt that you know and love, now with all the SEANBABIES on it. I don’t know if I am supposed to type it in all caps, but that’s how it looks from here so SEANBABIES it is!

I can think of 1000 ways to have fun wearing one of our awesome tank tops. I bet if I had this, I could think of at least one more.

Oh, wait, just thought of one!

Getting this incredible illustration on one of our super cool thick paper prints! You get 24 by 36 full inches of TIDBITS fun, anywhere you decide to put it!

Look, you can get one Pre-owned Buffy the Vampire Slayer Cheerleader Buffy action figure thing, where she is clearly disappointed in your purchase, or, you can get four of these posters where these SEANBABIES are totally stoked about everything.

That’s 20 SEANBABIES. I don’t think you can handle that many, like I think it might be illegal?

Whatever, laws are for dorks, buy as many posters as you can, that’d show us!

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Hot Dog Store: 8-Bit Hot Dogs

Hey kid, want to see a video game?

Too bad! I do have some awesome 8-Bit Hot Dogs apparel for you though! Exclamation mark!

First off is the hoodie I’m always talking about. I say this as someone that has three different Hot Dog hoodies, these are stupid comfy. This one has five different color styles, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is I am pretty sure Brockway hugs each one of these before they ship out. They feel like someone hugs them at least. But if you are already all hoodiededified up, check out how this looks on a shirt!

Man, that just pops, doesn’t it? The kind of shirt you could wear in Milan or Miami. And you’ve got six color options to choose from! I envy you in this moment, so many choices ahead of you, each teeming with possibilities. Incredible. You’re incredible. Buy a shirt.