Category: Store

Have you seen our catalog of cursed artifacts? The real one, I mean. No? Shit.

Well, in the meantime, why don’t you check out our cool Catalog of Cursed Artifacts shirt!

It comes in eight different colors, including one called OXBLOOD BLACK, which I think is this sort of dried blood color for some reason?

So, you know, you got options. Freaky options, but options!

We also have it in a women’s style cut, if that’s more your thing.

If you thought the eight colors with dried blood options shirt was impressive, this style comes in twelve different non-blood-based color varieties.

It won’t protect you from the horrors that are bound to head our way now, but it will cover your torso, and that’s a guarantee.

“But Hot Dog Store,” you say aloud to your phone while you read this in the bathroom, “I have enough shirts! Don’t you have options for those of us with fully covered torsos?”

Of course I do! I have everything! Check it out, we have The Catalog of Cursed Artifacts available as a poster. And not just any poster, we are talking about 16 by 20 inches of high quality 10.3 mil, 189 g/m² Japanese paper with an ISO brightness of 104% and a 94% opacity. Hang on, because I need a cigarette after typing that out.

This thing is beautiful. It’s thick, it’s bright, and it can double as a lap mat in a pinch.

Not gonna spill any of that clam chowder today. Not a drop. So get one while you can; worst-case scenario, you protect your pants from perpetual chowder spills. It’s win-win!

Be the manimal, little person toy genius, or speedboat wrestler you want to see in the world.

That’s right, this week we are talking about Crisis On Infinite Berks. Now, as you all know, we’ve had this shirt in the shop for a while, but did you know it comes in 9 different colors? Incredible! Here it is in “Heather Orange”

Fun little fact about Heather Orange, it is called that because of the colors in the heather plant. It has that little mottled effect, so the heather here means it is kind of like that athletic wear color with the light and dark orange. I just learned this right now. I learned it for you! The least you could do is buy a shirt.

Oh, but also, before I forget: POSTERS, BABY! We have posters in the shop now if you didn’t know (mugs too, but we don’t have this one on a mug, so forget I said anything.) BUT WE HAVE THIS ONE ON A POSTER!

This beauty comes in at a lovely 20” x 30” and is on super high quality Japanese paper. I know you love that stuff, and that’s why we take care of you.

Look, here is a dog next to one, and the dog couldn’t be happier. That dog is overjoyed, just really at the peak of his life in this moment, all because of the poster. Don’t you want to be happy like this dog? Don’t you want to feel something again? Anything? Well buy a poster and hang it over your bed, and maybe, just maybe, all the anguish and pain in the poster will distract you long enough for you to feel joy once again.