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Hot Dog Store: It’s Your Ol’ Pal Ice Pop Paul

I donā€™t know if youā€™ve heard, but Brockway is back! Hooray! Our long international nightmare is finally over. But donā€™t think itā€™s all sweet dreams and buttercreams from here on out. Maybe you forgot, maybe you didnā€™t know, but Iā€™m here to remind you:

Thatā€™s right, none of you are safe! And to make sure you always remember that, we have our pal Ice Pop Paul available on all sorts of clothing you can wear at all times!

Here he is on a hoodie! Donā€™t like that color? Thatā€™s fine, we have six other colors to choose from!

ā€œBut what about when it gets too hot, and I need to take my hoodie off?ā€ you say, desperately trying to find a loophole. NOPE, he is on your shirt!

ā€œAha! But my body is shaped different and I prefer a different cut. Sorry Ice Pop Paul, youā€™ll have to find someone else to torment.ā€ Thatā€™s why we also have him available in this womenā€™s style cut.

Iā€™m gonna cut you off before you start, just like I did with these sleeves. We even have him on our tanktops, so stop trying to get out of this. You can either buy the clothing with the dude on it, or we can tattoo him on your chest, and my tattooing rate starts at $5500 an hour. Plus expenses.

And a per diem.

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Hot Dog Store: A Post About Posters

Youā€™ve been asking for it, and it is finally here. Thatā€™s right, weā€™ve got posters!

If you arenā€™t familiar, posters are like shirts for your wall, and weā€™ve got five of them here ready to go!

First up is The Catalog of Cursed Artifacts Poster, and that measures 16ā€³ x 20ā€³.

This 24ā€ x 36ā€ Hot Dogs vs. Apes Poster brings a damn tear to my eye every time.

The Crisis On Infinite Berks Poster comes in at 20ā€ x 30ā€

And for those of you who enjoy things in perfect ratios, weā€™ve got your Assembled Dogs Poster in 18ā€ x 18ā€

Letā€™s not forget this shining jewel. The incredible Bigfeets of Future Past poster, available in a beautiful 24ā€ x 36ā€ print.

And each of these posters is printed on 10.3 mil thick, 189 g/m2 paper, which is pretty thick and heavy as far as paper goes. It is going to feel real professional. Also the paper is rated to an ISO Brightness of 104%, which means those images should be vibrant and crisp. This isnā€™t me slapping these out on a printer at home on old IHOP receipts. This is high-quality Japanese paper, ready to be covered with the most beautiful renderings of cursed artifacts and lava apes the world has ever seen. So go check out what weā€™ve got, rip up those old Monets and Rembrandts, and get some real art up on your walls.

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Hot Dog Store: It’s A Great Time To Buy A Hoodie

I said brrr, itā€™s cold in here, there must be some declining pressure in the atmosphere. Haha, we have fun here in the little store posts, donā€™t we? Anyway, itā€™s cold in most of North America, which means you probably live in this section here that the weather station says is where cool people live. And cool people need hoodies to stay warm. Thatā€™s science.

While all of our hoodies keep you warm while looking cool, I want to take this time to talk to you about the Double Doggon Hoodie.

There it is, an absolute classic. This bad boy comes in five different colors: White, Black, Red, that weird PE Gray (or Grey if youā€™re nasty), and Pink.

So go check out our collection of hoodies, and stay warm. Nobody likes a frozen wiener.

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Hot Dog Store: It’s Always Tanktop Season

Summer is gone, but your hunger for breathable apparel hasnā€™t been sated. Are you as tired of sleeves as I am? Always getting in the way of your bulging muscles, ripping every time you lift a car over your head? Well great news, weā€™ve introduced tanktops!

Jimmy Jiggles Tanktop – The title may be unrelated, but your love for Jimmy Jiggles is undeniable.

Ice Pop Paul Tanktop – We legally cannot explain this tanktop, so youā€™ll just have to buy it and hope for the best.

Dogg Boyzz Tanktop – The Boyzz heard there were some new tanks around and came ready to punch. Choose your fighter.

BIGFEETS Tanktop – Finally, a tanktop for the cryptid enthusiast whoā€™s tired of hiding their obsession.

Assembled Dogs Tanktop – The ultimate ensemble piece. Like the Oceanā€™s Eleven of tanktops.

Hot Dog Days Tanktop – Because every day deserves its own warning label.

Grab one of these now, and let the world know sleeves are for cowards. Itā€™s just you, me, and these tanktops from here on out, baby!

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Hot Dog Store: Hot Dog Days

We have a lot of different days here at 1-900-HOTDOG, but every day is Upsetting Day. Thatā€™s why we have the different wieners.

No matter if you are in the mood to nerd, fight, learn, or fuck, weā€™ve got ā€˜em on this shirt.

And you know weā€™ve got this thing in a womenā€™s style cut for you. Donā€™t even sweat it.

But if you do want to sweat it, Iā€™ve got the hoodie of your dreams right here.

I hope you like it, we made it just for you. Yes, Iā€™m talking directly you Michael.

Man, when someone named Michael reads this it is gonna freak them out.

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Hot Dog Store: Assembled Dogs

The whole crew is back together for one more job. You son of a bitch; youā€™re in.

Weā€™ve got the shirt available right here. This thing is beautiful, I have one on my desk and Iā€™ve been staring at it for so long Iā€™ve forgotten what my parents faces looked like.

Also available in an Assembled Dogs shirt that is comfortably styled for you, the person who prefers a womenā€™s cut.

Iā€™m serious, the artwork on this is magnificent. One time I was writing a post about the shirts, and I kept thinking about the artwork, with everyone assembled so perfectly, I couldnā€™t even f