First thing you can give me is a break, because Brockway hates when we talk about the Patreon, but I don’t mind talking about it at all! And guess what I learned very recently: you can buy memberships for your friends!
That’s right, now you don’t have to suffer psychic damage alone, you can inflict horrible cursed knowledge on everyone you know at any tier. We have options for everyone!
Your support of the arts gets you four of the weekly articles and the ability to interact with the fascinating minds that created them. Like the first aspect of the hot dog, Learning, each article will cause you to know more yet understand less. For instance, the state dinosaur of tubed meat is Mesosuchus. You also gain access to our thriving Hot Dog Discord server, full of eager maniacs waiting to meet YOU!
You, true hero, get access to all articles and bonus material including exclusive weekly podcast bonus episodes and each month’s team-up. New delights every week! You are courageous to face off against such naked, flagrant hotdoggery! You also gain access to bi-weekly Hot Dog Events in the Discord server, by which we almost always mean watching something that should not exist with Seanbaby, Brockway, and a few dozen internet weirdos like you.
You monster! You grow stronger with every tier! Now you also gain access to the Behind the Scenes channel on the Hot Dog Discord. With each article, there’s cut material, fun bonuses, and dark truths you can never unlearn. Come learn them!
Gain access to the Hidden PoxCo Vaults: A private store full of exclusive merchandise, updated monthly and all sold at-cost. That means dangerously cheap. That means we make no profit on it. That means we accept no blame. You will also gain access to Untubed Sausage, the exclusive VIP Discord Channel full of its own separate, forbidden artifacts. There are basically no artifacts here that are allowed.
You are a legend among beef. In addition to access to the bonus episodes, Teamworking Days, Discord, community events, behind the scenes info, private store of accursed objects, and all the Internet hilarity, if you’re a Supreme then history will know of what you have done: Seanbaby and Brockway will write you a custom joke title to live forever on our About page, entire articles will be regularly dedicated just to you with custom jokes, your name will be shouted on the Dogg Zzone, again accompanied by custom jokes — we’re comedians, this is all we have. You’ll appear in the end credits of the Dogg Zzone animated podcast and the BIGFEETS video podcast. You alone will unlock the true meaning of hot dog. It will live inside you, telling you when to punch, when to love, and when to both.
Speaking of the vault, don’t forget the incredible value we lock within:
As keepers of the vault, you understand your responsibilities, but maybe you’d like to take a vacation once in a while, let someone else guard a vault of unspeakable horrors. This week I’m giving a little look you can show your friends to trick them into thinking everything is fine and safe. Why look at this:
Such an adorable prom photo! And on a vault exclusive shirt. Very wholesome, very safe.
And cool stuff like extralarge! Nothing but the best for our vault keepers.
See? You can show your friends a great time with a membership, and give them access to the vault.
It’s going to be fine.
Ok, thanks for reading, close the article and the vault. Thank you. Farewell.
Have a good one.
No, stop, no more reading. It’s all good!
NO
STOP
RUN! RUNNNNNNNNNNNN!
