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Hot Dog Store: ICYMI 1-900-HOTDOG: THE ALBUM

It’s like music, but for your ears!

When we started this website, it was a thin excuse to pursue our true passion: Podcasting. When we started the podcast, it was a thin excuse to pursue our truer passion: Commissioning custom theme songs. Finally you can give us money for them, and help make a very small dent in our absolutely crippling theme song debt.

1-900-HOTDOG: THE ALBUM contains 18 theme songs, 23 Extra Wieners, and 1 stunning high res artwork of all 16 of your favorite dogs. Featuring the musical talents of Zak Koonce, Jamie Kelly, Seanbaby, and technically Brockway, 1-900HOTDOG: THE ALBUM is the perfect theme music for any occasion, from the bedroom (fucking) to your neighbor’s carport (also fucking). You can fuck to this album. You can only fuck to it. You’re not allowed to do anything else but fuck while playing it.

Available only on our patreon.

I feel a strong energy coming from the vault this week.

Do yoga and eat right for Satan.

Available once again in the vault, Dreams of the Witch! Don’t wait too long though, who knows how long this witch will bathe in mediocrity before the slumber ends. Get your shirt while you can, and if you can’t, figure your shit out!

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Store

Hot Dog Store: 1-900-HOTDOG: THE ALBUM

When we started this website, it was a thin excuse to pursue our true passion: Podcasting. When we started the podcast, it was a thin excuse to pursue our truer passion: Commissioning custom theme songs. Finally you can give us money for them, and help make a very small dent in our absolutely crippling theme song debt.

1-900-HOTDOG: THE ALBUM contains 18 theme songs, 23 Extra Wieners, and 1 stunning high res artwork of all 16 of your favorite dogs. Featuring the musical talents of Zak Koonce, Jamie Kelly, Seanbaby, and technically Brockway, 1-900HOTDOG: THE ALBUM is the perfect theme music for any occasion, from the bedroom (fucking) to your neighbor’s carport (also fucking). You can fuck to this album. You can only fuck to it. You’re not allowed to do anything else but fuck while playing it.

Available only on our patreon.

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Hot Dog Store: Pint Glasses For Your Pint Asses

The crew is hard at work on something new and cool, but in the meantime, I’m thirsty. Are you thirsty?

Irrelevant.

You will get thirsty at some point though and that’s what I’m here to help you with today.

Fun fact, anything you put in here tastes like fetid hotdog water. Don’t believe me? Buy one right now and try it. Worst case scenario I am wrong and you have a cool glass. But if it does work, oh buddy, can you imagine?

Hotdoggers will see this and say “Hell Yeah.” They are totally right. They also buy it because they are cool. You are cool, right? I’d hate to have to think you weren’t. Lookin’ at you, Mike.

You down with IPP? No, not the Insane Plown Posse, I’m talking about ICE POP PAUL. What a delightful scamp; you should invite him into your home and allow him to keep watch over you from his place within your curio. You don’t have a curio? Weird. Well, don’t worry, he’ll figure something out.

I feel a strong energy coming from the vault this week.

You know what was a great week?

Hunk week.

Our hunks celebrate the only way they know: Buns out. And thankfully you can celebrate buns to the wind while wearing this shirt, available only in the vault!

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Hot Dog Store: Welcome to 2026

The holidays are over, the new year has been rung in. Rang in? Ringed in. That’s the one. The new year has been ringed in and you forgot to send cards out to everyone. Whoops!

It’s all good, we got your back. You probably didn’t see the podcast roundup last week because you were too busy doing cool stuff like kickflipping your grandma over a car or something. But if you did see it, you’d have known that we got some sick ass holiday themed postcards for you. Check ‘em out.

Look at the boys, hard at work putting together their best of. It’s just like Bodhi day according to my internet search engine’s AI scraper. That’s pretty neat!

The Coyote King stands alone on Christmas morning. Nobody got him anything. That’s so sad! Send this one to your weird uncle.

Praise be, our savior is born! Celebrate the birth of the Deathcat with this jubilant illustration and let us adore him. Featuring a regular dog!

Nothing says winter like a dogsled ride with your boys. Season the most greeting with what I hope is something not physically connected to any of the three.

Oh boy fat man, you’ve gone and stepped in it now. Time for a traditional Christmas beatdown courtesy of 1900HotDog

Get cozy by the fireplace with a postcard showing my favorite time of year: Hot Cocoa out of our cool ass mugs! Double merch push, got’em!

And let’s see if the vault has rewards or punishments for the first week of the year. The discord prophet says that it is a portent of things to come. An important portent even. I had a dream about an upcoming camping trip that I ended up cancelling. Glad I did because there was a recall on some of my gear, which I knew because of the important portent about that poor tent.

Stop throwing things at me I’ll open the damn vault already.

The game may die, the shirt never will.

This week we have the Kumite The Home Game shirt available in the vault, only in 2026! I mean if you can figure out how to buy it in 2025 right now that’d be amazing, but as far as I know you gotta accept the linearity of the flow of time and you also gotta buy this shirt.

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Hot Dog Store: The Last Store Post Of 2025

Wow, 52 weeks already. What a wild ride this year has been. You know what else is a wild ride?

Hell yeah, this one pint glass!

Check it out

Our newest design, but I’m only showing you the pint glass, because shirts can’t get you fucked up.

It’s that weird time between christmas and new years where you should be drunk as hell.

Have I ever told you about the thirteen month calendar and how superior it is to our dumb bullshit?

13 months, made up of 4 weeks of 7 days. An extra day outside of time at the end called NEW YEAR DAY that isn’t on the calendar. And then every four years we get an extra day LEAP DAY right after.

It’s too simple.

But noooo, big calendar has to make sure you get all your weird fucking dates all mixed up all the time with roaming holidays and bank closures and presidents day.

Fuck calendars, pint glasses.

NEW YEAR NEW YOU.

Do yoga and eat right for Satan.

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Hot Dog Store: 2025 Wearables Recap

It’s time for your 2025 HotDog wrapped, find out how much of your data we sold at a profit with this slideshow we let AI put together.

Nah, that’d be fucked up. Let’s look at merch!

2025 saw the release of six new 1900HotDog themed illustrations, not including BIGFEETS (which we will get on a different day). That is incredible. This is almost your last chance to buy as much of these as you can to try and write them off as charitable donations on your taxes next year. Don’t take advice from a comedy website merch post about how to do your taxes, but also totally do that.

And now here they are in no particular order

Seanbaby’s Tidbits Babies – Please ensure you have adequate receptacles for cute puns and hunky buns.

Available as a classic cut shirt, a women’s cut shirt, and a tanktop.

Hot Dog Pail Kids – Collect them all! There are two. They’re on this shirt.

Available as a classic cut shirt, a women’s cut shirt, and a tanktop.

Hot Dog Assault – This is your brain on Hot Dog.

Available as a classic cut shirt, a women’s cut shirt, a tanktop, AND our only hoodie!

Dogg Rodd – Slam in the back of our Doggula.

Available as a classic cut shirt, a women’s cut shirt, and a tanktop.

Hot Dog Action Figure – With real Nitrate-Blasting action!

Available ONLY as a classic cut shirt. Incredibly rare!

Hot Dog Karate – Learn the forbidden groin secrets of the east.

Available as a classic cut shirt, and a women’s cut shirt.

And this year saw the installation of The PoxCo Vault. A horrible place of wonders and punishments, only viewable by those damned enough to have been cursed with forbidden knowledge.

I’m not going to pop this vault door wide open and let everything out, but I will open it a tad further today just to show three items I really enjoyed this year.

The Jimmy Jiggles Dad Hat. Get your dad a hat he’ll never understand.

The Understated Hot Dog Track Jacket. Let them know you’re a maniac in a tasteful, subtle way.

And our line of exclusive Hot Dog Business Casual Polos. Smuggle a lil’ Jimmy Jiggles into work. It’s a felony.

Each of these is such an absurd little slice of 1900HotDog, and I love that they exist out there in the real world. You guys are wild, it’s awesome.