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Hot Dog Store: Shakin’ Dogs and Fightin’ Hogs

Have you heard about 1900🌭?

You have now!

See that first panel? That’s us. Maybe you. Anyone. That’s how we all look to them, the ones that don’t speak the language of doggin’. That’s why they try to stop us, but if you’ve got this shirt then we’ll know you know, and they won’t know but they’ll know that you do know something they don’t know, which is the most anyone can hope for.

Wow, knowledge really is power.

And did you know we also have it available in a mug? Yeah, it comes in like 10 different colors.

These mugs are lead and BPA-free, and are fine in the dishwasher or microwave.

So get that Hot Dog Handshake, wear the shirt, fill the mug with a whole bunch of boiled pepto bismol or something. It’s gonna be the last good memory you have, because I’ve got bad news about the vault this week.

I tried to contain it as much as I could but it’s just too damn powerful.

THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S TIME TO DICK FIGHT! You ready to rock out with your cock out? Feel the throb of the meat sabres as they clash in sweaty glory? Too bad, because this week the vault is full of this cursed shirt, and it’s up to you to clear it out. You gotta do something about this, it is way beyond my abilities and I can’t have all these dick fightin’ shirts everywhere, what if my mom stops by? If it were your mom, she’d feel right at home, but not my mom. So get your mom this shirt. She loves dick fightin’ from what I’ve heard.

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Hot Dog Store: Dogs vs. Apes and a Vault Full of Dreams?

There is some powerful magic happening in the vault. I apologize in advance as it seems to be messing with the fabric of reality.

1900HOTDOG PRESENTS – LAVA APES OF THE LOST DIAMOND CITY. The graphic so powerful it can only be put on one type of shirt in three colors and a poster.

But boy what a shirt it is. Look at the boys go, blasting their way out of the lost diamond city. Or was this when they blasted their way in? There was a lot of blasting, it is so hard to keep up with everything. Grab your shirt right here and wear it out there.

The only other way to contain the power of this graphic is in our 24”x36” poster on that high quality Japanese paper. Please do be careful when displaying this, as it has been known to make people flip out from envy and start wrecking the place. We are not liable for any riots you will cause.

It feels like there is something in the vault that wants its freedom. Well, who am I to keep it down?

Do yoga and eat right for Satan.

That’s right, this week in the Vault we are introducing Dreams of the Witch. The newest incredible piece by a cursed sorcerer, forced to create powerful objects that drain your sanity. You know the Vault gives as much as it takes, such is the balance we have brokered. So, step up and do your part, gather another cursed object and protect it in your home. Parade it around town to inoculate those unaware of the horrible things you’ve seen. Do this, in the name of the witch.

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Hot Dog Store: Important Historical Moments

The moon landing. Y2K. Toyotathon. Some events are so important, such a part of our cultural identity, that we remember where we were when we experienced it. We remember everything about those days, from the scent in the air to the way the sun felt as it shone upon our faces. The second year of 1900HotDog was more important and culturally impactful than all that other bullshit, and we have the merch to prove it.

Own a piece of momentous history in three different styles available in our shop, right now.

Our classic shirt is available for you in red, white, and athletic heather. Solid colors are 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, and the Heather color contains polyester. It’s pre-shrunk, and super comfy. If you don’t see the color/size combination you are looking for, the supplier may be low and you can always check back or send us a message.

This is the only way you can get one of these official pieces of history. At some point in the future these could easily replace currency and may be the deciding factor on who rules what is left of our beautiful wasteland.

Speaking of wastelands, let’s dive into the vault!

Back in the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, we made this fuckin’ shirt.

And what a fuckin’ shirt it is. If we are celebrating the second year of 1900HotDog out there, you know we have the Days of Hot Dog Adventure shirt going on in here. And the only way you can get in here is to be at the right patreon level. If you don’t remember which level that is, that’s ok because I don’t either. Just keep putting money into your computer until the vault unlocks, I think that’s how it works. Or ask on our discord, those degenerates know everything.

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Hot Dog Store: Video Games and Something Funky in the Vault

Real ones know the Doom Guy is Brigham Young. That’s right, this week it is all about MORMONISM:

I’ve got two things to show you here before we dive into the vault.

First up we have our mugs. These Lead and BPA-free ceramic mugs come in 11 ounce and 15 ounce options, have full colored rims, insides, and handles, and are dishwasher and microwave safe. It’s September now which means flu season is coming up, and it also means autumn is just around the corner. These babies are perfect for sipping warm cider on a crisp autumn morning or drinking hot lemon water with honey to soothe a sore throat. I’m 100% serious, I don’t know why but hot lemon water with honey works better for my sore throats than any lozenge or anything else. Try it out next time you get sick. Try it out specifically in one of our mugs.

We also have this awesome MORMONISM graphic available on our classic shirts. Wearing one of these presents a fantastic opportunity for someone to not understand and then you explaining the lore and history behind one of the greatest demon killing FPS games of all time. And isn’t that all you want out of your casual wear? I know it’s what I want from mine, and almost none of my clothes are capable of this.

Things sound like they are popping off in the vault, let’s take a look…

OH NO IT IS A LEVEL SEVEN INFECTION, QUICK TU-

rn this corner right here and have a seat. Have you heard about Corey? Oh, you haven’t? Delightful. Well, as you know, I am Corey, they are Corey, and as soon as you started to read the beginning of this sentence, you are Corey. Isn’t it great, Corey? Being part of something so exciting and comforting? Be sure to navigate your way through the vault to get your official We Are Corey shirt, so everyone knows you are Corey. And then get extra shirts so they also know they are Corey.

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Hot Dog Store: HOT DOGS… ASSEMBLE!

It’s time… DOGS! ASSEMBLE!

The whole crew is back together for one more job. You son of a bitch; you’re in. And we’ve got a bunch of options for you to bring the crew home.

It’s the perfect time to grab one of our mugs, because who knows how long you have until the next time you need a celebratory drink! It can hold cocoa or whiskey or coffee or whatever you have on hand the next time you hear some great news.

And while you are celebrating the wonderful news you’ve heard, making cool jokes on social media, posting memes you have saved and all of that, bask in the glory of this incredible 18”x18” poster available on super high-quality Japanese paper. Beautiful art, beautifully colored on beautiful paper for your beautiful home!

Maybe there will be a parade! What will you wear? Might I suggest one of our Assembled Dogs shirts, available in three colors? You’ll probably be taking selfies, and you’ll want to make sure you have something cool to wear.

Our women’s styled cut has a dozen different color options, in case you don’t like the original three. Lots of options there for people who look better in cool or warm. Either way, we have options.

And in a farewell to arms, or sleeves at least, our Assembled Dogs tanktop is sure to be a crowd pleaser at any spontaneous party. Maybe it’ll be a party in the streets, maybe it’ll be in a karate library, it doesn’t matter because the party is wherever you are when you are wearing one of these!

Speaking of parties, what’s going on in the secret sex normal merchandise vault?

This week we have an Understated Hot Dog Track Jacket available for you!

Let them know you’re a maniac in a tasteful, subtle way. This thing feels great and is so soft inside with that brushed fleece lining. And it looks cool as hell. If the tanktop brings the party with you, this thing brings the after party. And it has pockets!

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Hot Dog Store: Jimmy Jiggles Is Here For You

You know him! You fear love him! That’s right, it is our unnamed mascot, JIMMY JIGGLES!

What a fun little guy, always hanging out representing that 1900HOTDOG Brand. Who knows how he came to be. The boys found him on that expedition to that one place that one time and haven’t been able to shake him yet.

So that’s why we went and slapped him on a whole bunch of merch! Look, here is some right now:

Your first option is a lovely shirt, available in six colors. These things are super soft and comfy, and they are pre-shrunk so you don’t have to worry about sizing issues.

And you know we have ceramic mugs in 11 and 15 ounce options. There are a whole bunch of colors available, and it’s cool because the inside and the handle have that pop of color, and it looks neat. Lead and BPA free, and dishwasher and microwave safe. Pop a couple hot dogs in this thing with some water, microwave it, and enjoy the finest hot dog tea in your finest hot dog mug.

Over in our hoodie section, we have five different colors of one of the softest and coziest hoodies around. And it has a big ol’ pocket!

Our women’s cut version of the shirt comes in 12 colors. That’s a dozen! That’s twice as many colors as something that only has six colors. Incredible!

And finally, our unnamed, unused Hot Dog mascot is available on a sweet 100% airlume combed ring-spun cotton relaxed fit tanktop. Perfect for those days when you need to do stuff and wear a shirt but your arms get too warm so you don’t want them all covered up with cloth. Cold torsos and hot arms are a thing of the past!

Well, if you are sick of Jimmy, don’t worry, it’s not like he can get in the vault.

FUCK HE IS IN THE VAULT!

Be cool, don’t make eye contact with the Jimmy Jiggles Dad Hat available in way too many colors. Do not get your dad a hat he’ll never understand. SHIT WATCH OUT!

Don’t fall for the trap of this zip up hoodie. It has double doggz on the front but smack dab on the back BAM JIGGLES, BABY!

OH FUCK NOW YOU CAN BE THE GUY FROM DRIVE WITH THIS SICK ASS BOMBER JACKET, BUT ONLY WITH JIMMY AT THE WHEEL. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT, I DIDN’T SEE THAT MOVIE. WAS IT GOOD? SORRY I DON’T MEAN TO YELL I AM JUST VERY STARTLED AND ALSO CURIOUS ABOUT IF THE FILM WAS GOOD. IS IT STREAMING ANYWHERE? I’LL HAVE TO BUY THE JACKET AND FIND OUT