It’s Podcasting Day again, and I hope you all have your pods ready for casting. Imagine if you didn’t. Imagine if you weren’t prepared to cast a pod at all – you’d be so embarrassed. Friends would mock you, family would abandon you, dogs would attack you in the street sensing your innate weakness. Luckily that’s not you: You’re ready for Michael Swaim to join Seanbaby and Brockway in carefully critiquing the plot structures of Ready Player Two.*
You might remember Michael Swaim from the internet, which you’re currently on. He’s classed up joints like Cracked and IGN, and hosts his own perpetual funk jam band called Small Beans. Dude even writes killer fiction. We’re calling him the total package, basically, which is very different from the time we called him a total package.
If you like receiving steamy hot dog deliveries weekly now, remember to share the podcast with your friends, subscribe through the app of your choice (we like PodPeople and CastDatAss, personally), and leave a glowing review that describes our biceps as “like they’ve got hams up their sleeves – like they’re about to do some sort of ham-based magic trick.”
*Mercilessly savaging every single element of it, from awkward prose to offensive characters to the hackneyed references peppering every page like George Peppard from the hit 1983 television show, The A-Team . No really, I mean we absolutely tear it apart like somebody set loose a pack of baboons in a daycare for the blind. It’s hard to feel good about the things we did to this one.
Podcast novelization cover by Brett Ellefson