Welcome to the 1-900-HOT-DOG archives! These are the hilarity vaults, where precious comedy is stored at a stable temperature in a low-moisture environment so that future generations may look back on the works of Seanbaby and Robert Brockway, and despair at how far the art of comedy has fallen in the laughless future. They all know Laser Mime sucks, but they’re just out of ideas.

CGA pixel art by Julia Minamata

Hey there 1-900-HOT-DOG Kidz Club Members (Hot Dogs, Cool Kids!™ ) check out this “totally bad” Image Hunt! Hidden in the cutting-edge Computerized Pictofile above are 25 references to some of 1-900-HOT-DOG’s greatest hits! If you look closely, you might find some hints on this page to help you hunt. Hot Dog! Let’s get lookin’!

Welcome to 1900HOTDOG🌭

Our First Hot Dog Month

The Unwritable

Become the Man Loaf

Meet Our New Conservative Mormon Content Strategist

Let’s Fire Our New Conservative Mormon Content Strategist

The Hunk Boat Fakeout

Seven Months of Hot Dog

New Art, New Tiers, New You!🌭

Hot Dog Appreciation Days: #1, #2

Blaby Computer Games

The Gorgeous Guys of Gaming

Baskin: The Turkish Horror Team-Up!

Amazing Man Comics

The Complete Rumble in the Bronx Breakdown Part I🌭

The Complete Rumble in the Bronx Breakdown Part II🌭

The Complete Rumble in the Bronx Breakdown Part III🌭

The Complete Rumble in the Bronx Podcast🌭

The Complete Rumble in the Bronx Gang Hideout Breakdown🌭

Poxco Regional Wrestling-by-Mail

Poxco Regional Wrestling First Round Results


Chuck Austen’s Worldwatch

How to be… Random!?

How to Spot Counterfeit Beanie Babies

Whatever Happened to Fingerboarding?

Develop Your Child’s Psychic Abilities

UFO Strangers Coloring Book

A Practical Guide to Ear Candling

How to Make Trippy Music

How to Protect Yourself on a Cruise Vacation🌭

How to Goodbye Depression🌭

The Alien Abduction Survival Guide🌭

Behind-The-Scenes: Almost Reaching Seanbaby

Troom Troom🌭

SpacePort: Arcade Training Program🌭

The Truth About Power Rangers

How to Avoid Attention🌭

Trayns, Trains, Tréns! All Aboard for Trains!

Star Safety: A Coloring Book🌭

The Goth Scene

Jack Horkheimer: Star Hustler🌭

How to be a Way Cool Grandfather

How to Manifest Your Desires

How to Dominate Women

Terminal Madness

How to be Cool

My Favorite Manly Hot Dog Man🌭

How to Catch Fairies

Remastered Classic: The Most Efficient Way to Do Everything

Develop Your Psychic Powers🌭

How to Overcome Lust

Meet Buster Sales!

Science 4 for Christian Schools

Captain Video vs. The Space Idiots

Science 4 for Christian Schools: Teacher’s Guide

Wow, A Talking Fish!

Video Hypnosis With Subliminals

101 Weapons for Women

Double Dragon: The Movie🌭

D.D. Crew

Hulk Hogan’s Rock n’ Wrestling🌭

Martial Dance🌭

Combat Simulation Suits🌭

Probably True Stories of 90s Action Stars Giving Script Notes🌭

Night Man🌭

Poxco Regional Wrestling Magazine

The Comic Strip

The Bible, Self-Defense, and Martial Arts


Shootfighter 2: Bolo Yeung’s Opus of Mediocrity🌭

Behind-the-Scenes: Brockway Needs Time

The 100 Deadliest Karate Moves🌭

“Fisto’s Forest”🌭

How to Protect Yourself and Survive🌭

Man Comics vol 2 Issue 1: Pouch Hopfucker🌭


My Life’s Fight + 7 Fighters Who Lied Their Way to Legendary🌭

True Crime Magazine Ads

The Penetrator🌭

Steven Seagal’s World of Warships

Self-Defense for Your Child

Remastered Classic: Seanbaby and Brockway Swap Cracked IPs

The Way Cobra Eats Pizza🌭

The Many Certain Deaths of Commando Cody Part II🌭

The Stunts of Steven Seagal’s Kill Switch🌭

Undercover Grandpa

The Bouncing World of Road House🌭

The Karate Rap Hunt

Karate for Snakes

Karate Blazers🌭

Pressure Point Karate Made Easy 🌭

Malibu’s Mortal Kombat Comics🌭

Self-Defense Aerobics🌭

Guardians of the Hood🌭

Star Roars

Revolutionary Girl Utena🌭

Shaq Fu: The Novelization🌭

Kid’s Guide to the Internet🌭

Captain America vs. The Bullshit Robot: A Coloring Adventure🌭

Swords of the Barbarians

Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles Joke Book

The Last Witch Hunter

Marvo the Magician and Tito

Space Precinct 2040

Incel Daredevil

Darktown Strutters: The Gangs

Play the Ass Game🌭

Donkey Kong Knockoffs🌭

Pat & Julian: Power Nerds

The 40 Easy Steps to Cube Domination🌭

Behind-the-Scenes: Seanbaby Turns the Tables


Birdman Theater Episode 1: The Quake Threat!🌭


The Mighty Foes of Iron Fist🌭

Thundercats LIVE

Jokes for Minecrafters🌭

Everyone the Wonder Twins “Rescued” Should be Dead

Remastered Classic: Fuck This Blurry Arcade

The Many Certain Deaths of Commando Cody Part I🌭

Remastered Classic: Zorklon

Show Off! How to Be Cool at Parties

Chojin Sentai Jetman🌭

Dear Nintendo: My Life is a Goddamn Mess, Part 1🌭

The Night Man Rollerblading Episode

Howard Johnson’s Sega Game Tips🌭

Ultimate Tag🌭

The Pac-Man Riddle and Joke Book🌭

Genshin Impact🌭

1001 Best Places to Have Sex in America🌭

Kemono Michi: Rise Up

Godek’s Romantic Essentials🌭

How to Hide an Erection

269 Amazing Sex Games

Cracked Slashfic

Natural Bust Enhancement with Total Mind Power

The Sex Orgies of Sarawak

Pokemon Who Look Like Sex Toys🌭

Darling in the Franxx🌭

The Worst Day to Have Sex🌭

Holiday Dog Movie Fuck Mansion🌭

Exercising the Penis

Behind-the-Scenes: Seanbaby Does Not Listen

Carmen Electra’s Naked Women’s Wrestling League


How to Date a White Woman

Road to Sturgis

The Bike-Fucking Scene from The Dirt Bike Kid

How to Solve Your Sex Problems with Self-Hypnosis

The Chermen

Angela Lansbury’s Positive Moves🌭

Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout🌭

Girls X Battle 2 (Featuring Topper)

Fighting Game Girl Fetish

The Chippendales After Hours Game

Remastered Classic: Way of the Barbarian

Crazy Love

The Several Opportunities for Sex of Black Scorpion

The Godek Podcast🌭


The Better Sex Guide to Anal Pleasure

Denise Richards’ Hottest Sex Scene

101 Ways to Get and Keep His Attention🌭


Sensual Fantasy For Lovers

Explaining Prince to People Who Don’t Know Prince

My Little Pony Fanfiction: “Cupcakes by Sergent Sprinkles

Doris Sanford HURTS OF CHILDHOOD Double Feature

You Wouldn’t Want to be a Sailor on a 19th Century Whaling Vessel!

Fuck the Entertainment Tonight Theme Song Remix

ASMR Roleplay

How to Understand and Accept Your Gay Son

Greatest Heroes and Legends of the Bible

How to Get Along with Black People

The Minis🌭

Be a Clown!

Your Robot Best Friend: iCub

Wish Products (Featuring Fake Dick Bulges)🌭

Darktown Strutters: The Cursed Images

Children Are No Match For Fire

Thief in the Night🌭

Cheaters Always Prosper

The Saved by the Bell Reboot

The Giggler Murder Scene from Death Wish 3🌭

Damsel Fetish

Ceto’s New Friends

The Dogg Zzone 9000 Podcast Official Launch Post

Beanie Baby Stories

Dog Police

The Boy Who Could Fly🌭

Fucking WHAT, Archie?

Remastered Classic: Dumb Things White People Think About Other Races

Babyland Hospital🌭

Gary Busey: Pet Judge

The Prison Alphabet🌭

Love Beyond Circuits, Love Beyond Flesh

Dear Nintendo: My Life is a Goddamn Mess, Part II

The Over the Top Genre Podcast

1,003 Great Things About Being a Woman🌭

Blue Hawaii

1,001 Ways NOT to be Romantic🌭

Soul Tunnels